Not an Angel
by ShinigamiMailJeevas
Summary: Detectives all around the world,secret and well known alike,are being murdered. Matt is next on the list and Mello will do everything in his power to save him; even if that means loosing him the process. Sequel to WSF. -Now Edited-
1. Prologue: Underwater

**Disclaimer:** Nope, don't own Death Note.

**AN 2010: **Yay I finished the editing. Only JNRR to go….

**AN:** I hope everyone will enjoy this as much as the other one. This one will be slightly different. For one it's ALL in first person. I don't skip around at all, well maybe for the epilogue... Second this will be darker, how much even I'm not sure.

However, I found that the song "I'm Not An Angel" by Halestorm inspired the ENTIRE sequel, so read the lyrics and you will understand how dark and emotional this has the potential to become. :) _Happy_ reading.

**Suggested Listening:** Midnight Heartache _&_ Sound Memory **by** SEPTEMBER

**Prologue:** _Underwater _

I tried to concentrate on the music, a techno song about 'memories', but the hands pressing harshly at my hips and the nipping at my collar bone wouldn't let me. My mouth was dry and my heart raced fast in my chest; I almost wished it would fail so that I could be done with this. But then Matt would be alone.

My eyes fluttered closed and I bit my lip as the man above me slicked my entrance. Matt was the only one who was supposed to touch me. And in order to save him... I was reduced to selling myself once more.

The man groaned as he buried himself inside me; I felt sick.

His hands trailed across my chest and back; nails scraping at my flesh. He pulled out and forced me onto my stomach before slamming back in. I think I screamed; everything was out of focus and I realized it was because of tears.

He pushed harder, thrust deeper; I _hated_ him. But not as much as I hated myself. The quicker his pace became the closer I knew he was. I bit my lip in disgust as his hot seed filled me and dripped down my thighs.

My hands clenched at the bed sheets and I blinked away my tears. They held no place in this situation.

Jerking once more, panting, he pulled out with a satisfied sigh that made me sick. Absolutely sick. I was no more than a cheap whore; only I got information instead of money.

"You really are as good as they say." I forced myself to smirk and turn around. "Of course I am." my smirk was cocky and oozed sex. It was one that I made sure Matt _never_ saw. The man got up and strode naked over to his jacket and pulled something out, and for a moment I thought it might be a gun.

Then he tossed a small black object at me; catching it I noticed it was a flash drive.

"Everything that I could find is on there. If you ever need anything else you know who to contact." it was a clear dismissal. I said nothing as I quickly dressed, the smell of sex seeping into the leather, and was out the door before the man even noticed.

Pulling my jacket impossibly close across my body I walked the two blocks to where my bike was. Sitting hurt but I couldn't go back without it. Matt would wonder where it was...

For a moment, just for a moment, I allowed myself to break.

A choked sob worked its way from my mouth and my hands were clenched tight around the handlebars. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I tasted the bitter salt in my mouth.

Wiping them away quickly I started the engine and sped away from that place, that area, that I had grown to know all too well.

If only the Detective Purge hadn't started, if only things had stayed calm for just a little longer...

If only there was a better way to get what I wanted...

If only I wasn't so _utterly_ useless...

I grit my teeth and sped into the intersection, horns beeping at me from all angles as I narrowly avoided a crash. I wasn't headed home, even now. I couldn't go home like _this_.

I didn't even remember getting there, or knocking on the door, or falling to my knees in his doorway.

"Dear god Mello, you're killing yourself!" Jasper hissed at me. He hauled my unresponsive body off the ground and dragged me inside. The slam of the door echoed in the silent apartment.

He brought me into the bathroom and turned on the shower. "When you can do something other than an impression of a lifeless doll, clean yourself up." he closed the door roughly behind him.

I don't know for how long I sat but when the feeling in my legs finally came back I struggled out of my soiled clothing and under the hot stream of water.

I scrapped at the nail marks, at the bruises and tore open the love bites. I hated everything about this. I hated _everything_. Blood and semen swirled around the drain before finally disappearing from my view.

Closing my eyes tightly I quickly finished scrubbing my body raw before turning off the water. Stumbling from the shower I tripped over one of my boots and my switchblade fell out.

Picking it up, so as to not accidently step on it, I held it in my palm and eyed it unsteadily. I flipped it open and shut a few times and hissed when it nicked my finger. Blood welled from the small wound and dripped down the appendage.

I was _tired_.

My head hurt, my heart hurt, everything _hurt_ and I didn't care about the blade that was suddenly pressed into my skin.

The door swung open though I barley heard it.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing?!" Jasper growled as he pried the switchblade from my grip. I cringed at his harsh words and looked away. "Look what you are doing to yourself; you never once got this bad before. Not even in the old days. What the _hell _is going on?"

"He knows!" I choked out. "He fucking knows, he has to!" I felt the tears prickling at my eyes once more and ignored them.

"I can see it in his eyes every time I have to lie to him; how sad he looks. I lie to him so damn much I can't remember the last truthful thing I've said!" I tugged at my hair and let out an anguished cry.

"It hurts so much... I... can't-" strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me close.

"You fucking _idiot_. Who told you to take on everything by yourself? Who told you to save the world again?"

I shook my head weakly. "Not the world... never them, just Matt."

"If you would just _tell_ him-" he persisted.

"I can't! He doesn't need to know that he..." I trailed off. Matt didn't need that on his shoulders, not now. Not when in a few short weeks he could be...

"I have to go." I said quietly. "You still have a spare change of my clothes?" Jasper nodded. "I'll wash these ones so you don't have to bring any over." I nodded wearily and he let go of me.

It was like this after every time; I would go to Jasper's and clean up and then go home to Matt and pretend I had been meeting with a contact and getting information for the case. For the case the entire world was watching, the case bigger than Kira had _ever_ been.

"You're not going to try anything stupid like that again if I give this back?" Jasper asked wearily. I sighed and shook my head slowly. I was wearing myself too thin if _that_ had suddenly crossed my mind as an out. I would make sure it never did again.

"Just let yourself out, I'm going to do a job for someone." he muttered in irritation.

"I'll see you in a few days then." I told him.

"I sincerely hope not." he shook his head and once more left the bathroom. Pulling myself together I went in search of clean clothes, which were where he always left them for me when I had them here, and managed to dress myself without incident.

Closing the apartment door behind me with a _click_, I got back to my bike and headed home. Home, the place where I wasn't so sure I was wanted anymore.

**-End **_**Underwater-**_

**AN 2010:** I didn't really have to do much to this.. just a few small changes so far.

**AN:** so here we go, I dove right into the plot. Hm. This chapter was more angtsy than I had intended. But oh well. Poor Mello, I was listening to a rather depressing song on repeat for him so... yeah. This is the result. (has anyone noticed I love to torture Mello? eh well…)

And I'm sure everyone is wondering what the hell is going on, but don't worry, the next two chapters explain it. Well they aren't really chapters.. more like… well just read them when I post them. Lol.

REVIEW please!


	2. Chapter 1: The Beginning

**Disclaimer: **I don't own death note……

**AN: **ok, this chapter as well as the next one are more... ano... well… They are made to explain things from Matt and Mello's perspective and to get you up to speed with things. Mello's might be a little smaller only because the chapter after that will be the start of everything, sort of like a flashback, and then we are headfirst into the stuff I started in the prologue. I like to make things complicated don't I? Hehe.

**Suggested Listening**: The Last Night **by** Skillet

**Chapter One:**_ The Beginning_

~Matt~

All of my current problems had started sometime a few months ago; that was when everything began to crumble. My relationship with Mello had finally been cemented, finally. And then _bang _everything goes to hell in a hand basket.

Detectives started to die left and right. And I don't mean just keel over dead; no. They were all murdered. And there was absolutely _no idea _as to who had killed them.

At first it was only concentrated in one area, the United States, but over the course of a week reports from Britain, Russia and even Japan reported the same thing.

Detectives dead, with no leads.

And those were only the detectives who were out in the open. About a month later, the more secretive detectives started disappearing and turning up dead days and sometimes even weeks later.

L had, at this point, hidden himself and Near away to whereabouts unknown even to me who could usually hack their position.

This left Mello and I alone on the frontlines. I, being the secretive underground hacker and detective J, and Mello being ex-mafia and a private detective. We knew it was only a matter of time before one or even both of us were targeted.

It left us on edge and I could feel us beginning to drift apart under the pressure.

There were no leads, no letters and no clues for us to go on this time. This wasn't about Wammys for once, this was about the world. Someone, or a group of someone's, was trying to eliminate all of the worlds detectives; and so far they were doing a great job.

The news papers were calling it the _Great Detective Purge_, or just the Detective Purge, there was even a report of an _anonymous _source saying they _loved _the sound of that and they should have thought of it.

And suddenly the underground was flooded with the news that a clue was in fact left. That it had been on all of the victims e-mails. Something so easy had been missed so completely.

An e-mail was sent to each of the deceased, all within a three week time slot before their death. But with at least a week in advance; the lucky ones got two or three weeks notice.

However it was still unreported what was said in the e-mails or even if the sender was the same each time, only that the e-mail had the heading 'warning' on it.

L and Near were both working on the case, as was every able bodied detective, but still nothing more was found. It was as if the e-mail information had been leaked by the killers themselves.

And with how things had been going thus far, I wouldn't have been surprised.

With all of this tension, Mello had been more selective with taking his cases, not wanting to invite trouble as the saying goes. He had been working longer and longer hours, hardly even coming home.

And when he did, he had bags under his eyes, and looked sick. I knew he was pushing himself too hard, on this case as well as his own, but I never said anything.

In hindsight, that was my first and largest mistake.

_**-End The Beginning-**_

**AN:** I actually am kind of fond of this chapter..... I'm not even sure why, but I am. I will update Mello's chapter tomorrow since both are rather short. :)

Review!!!!


	3. Chapter 2: The End

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything damn it! *cries*

**AN: **Before anyone freaks out, this is NOT the last chapter, I just happened to use that for the title..... Um also, I know you're going to hate me, but there is a flashback... its all in first person as this _is _Mello's chapter..... I also abuse the italics button....

This is actually one of my favorite chapters in the fic….

**Suggested Listening**: I Will Not Bow **by **Breaking Benjamin

**Chapter Two:** _The End_

_~Mello~ _

_Things had all started to go downhill for the last few months; ever since the Detective Purge began. It had started small enough, a few detectives here and there. Nothing too out of the ordinary. _

_Then out of the blue, fifteen died in one day, barely a half hour in-between. All from the same area. The thought of a Death Note had crossed our minds, but L had dismissed it. _

_That was when the world began to get worried. They only began to panic once the media was unable to contain the actual amount of detective deaths; deaths that spanned over four countries. _

_L and that bastard Near went into hiding. Matt and I didn't really have that luxury. Or rather Matt did but chose to stay with me. Because of all of this, and the lack of leads we had, I had begun to choose what cases I took on very carefully. _

_Everyone had to be completely checked out, and even then I took precautions when dealing with anyone. _

_After weeks of no leads and the death toll mounting, along with the disturbing news of an e-mail going out to all those that died, I began to get frustrated. And Matt and I started to drift apart... it was mainly my own fault._

_I had been debating whether or not to get my information in a less than desirable manor, even though I would be breaking my promise to Matt who I swore on our real names I would never lie too, but the decision was all too soon taken out of my hands._

-Flashback-

I sighed in annoyance as I slammed the door behind me; Matt wasn't home at the moment. That meant that he was either out getting cigarettes or at the graveyard... In a way I almost hoped it was the latter. Maybe he would… I don't know... talk to her? It might help.

It wasn't that strange of a thing for people to do. And we hadn't exactly been normal around each other ever since the Detective Purge began. We had... drifted apart.

It was more my fault than anything. I tended to get bitchy and angry when I'm stressed or worried. And those were the things I was feeling most lately. Even Jasper was getting irritated with me, and he has known me almost as long as Matt has. If they can't deal with me then no one can.

Biting irritably into a piece of chocolate I flopped down into the computer chair and moved the mouse to make the screen wake from its slumber. These days it was pointless to even think of turning off the computer as it was almost always needed for something.

I was met with a white screen rather than the usual dark background. "Matt left his e-mail up." I shook my head in irritation which quickly turned to curiosity as I noted the blinking in the corner of the page. He had a new message.

Knowing that he wouldn't care as long as I didn't delete anything, I opened his inbox. My mouth went dry as I stared unblinkingly at the heading. _WARNING._

The sender was 'Red Flag'. With a sinking feeling I hesitantly clicked on it. The message was blank except for an attached file. I debated whether or not to open it. But if this was what I feared...

I clicked on the file. Media Player immediately opened and a scream punctuated the silence.

"No more, please!" a disheveled brunette haired woman yelled. She was crying, the tears making clear tracts down her dirty and bloodied face.

"Not until you repent for all your wrong doings." the voice, unrecognizable due to a distorter, taunted teasingly to the wounded woman.

A sob worked from her throat. "I-I didn't do anything wrong!" she gasped. The person _tsk_ed and walked closer.

"I don't know why you are resisting so much. Just repent and all the pain will stop." she whimpered as a gloved finger traced her jaw line.

The hand pulled away and grabbed something off camera and as soon as the brunette saw it she tried doubly to escape her bonds. It was a pair of pliers.

"You have very nice hands you know. So very nice..." the voice trailed off as a pale index finger was lifted away from the other fingers on her left hand. The pliers were moved slowly closer; the person wanted the fear and anticipation to build.

"NO!" she screamed and tried to yank her hand back, the bindings making it impossible.

"You should have repented." the voice said as the pliers' grabbed hold of one of her nails. My stomach lurched as the person pulled off the entire nail from her finger. She screamed in pain and was ashen faced when they were done.

"I'll repent! Oh god I'll repent!" she sobbed almost incoherently.

"I believe you have already wasted all your chances." her eyes widened painfully as the pliers descended again and again until all her finger nails were gone.

She was a shivering mess after that. Her long hair hung in sweaty clumps and her eyes were dilated and unfocused. The gloved hand slapped her a few times across the face.

"We aren't done yet. I have a few more treats for you." the person chuckled as the pliers were tossed to the side and a scalpel appeared instead.

"Please... no..." she whimpered. "No..." she repeated fearfully.

The gloved hand took a firm grip on one of her middle fingers before slicing into the finger just behind the joint. The agonized scream that the woman let loose chilled me to the bone. And that was before he got through the muscle and bone.

There was a small spurt of blood and then the finger was gone leaving behind a small bloody stump, hardly anything left to really call it a stump, but still something.

The woman was hyperventilating now, her eyes glazed over and blood flowing continuously from her hand. The person repeated the processes with two more fingers before leaving her to bleed to death tied to the chair.

"Oh, by the way, that was missing detective Anastasia Lanceberg. She says goodbye." the homemade footage broke off and I though that was the end until a small computerized skeleton holding a large red banner walked across the screen.

"No..."

In the middle of the banner was a single letter. _**J.**_ That skeleton left and the words 3 weeks appeared in its place. "Oh god.." I breathed out shakily. My fingers instantly fumbled for my cell phone. I couldn't breath, I couldn't think.

I couldn't _loose_ him.

"Mello?"

I hadn't even realized I had dialed the number until the slightly curious yet still very bland voice of L called out to me.

"Matt got an e-mail today..." I trailed off. I had to pause to sort out my jumbled thoughts.

"Mello-"

"L, he got one of _those _e-mails." I hissed at him. L was silent.

"Mello, are you sure-"

I cut him off again. "Of course I'm fucking sure! It had an attachment with the video death of Anastasia Lanceberg."

"Send it to me."

Numbly I forwarded the e-mail to L and awaited his reply. "He has three weeks..." L trailed off thoughtfully. "Perhaps we can use this."

I narrowed my eyes. "We are _not _using Matt as bait." I snarled.

"I never said that."

"You didn't have too!" my hand was clenched tight around the phone, so tight the plastic made a cracking sound.

"We have no other leads Mello." he commented. I closed my eyes.

"I refuse to allow this. And you, or anyone else, are not allowed to tell him about this. He has enough to worry about."

L sighed. "I suppose, however I will investigate how I see fit." in other words he was still going to use Matt as bait. I had wanted to be L _why_?

"And if he dies because of this, because of you, you won't have to worry about the killer getting to you. I'll hunt you down myself." I harshly ended the call and threw the phone down onto the table and watched as the battery popped out.

I stared at the computer screen for a while before doing the unthinkable. I deleted the e-mail. I made sure it was completely deleted, not even a trace of it left on the computer, nothing to alert Matt. As long as he had no reason to search he wouldn't find it.

He would just be under more stress if he knew he was on a time line of three weeks. He _couldn't_ find out.

And yet... there was no information to go on. Nothing for me to help him with... nothing unless...

I immediately shook the thought away. I had promised him that I would never do that again. Not L, but Matt. Matt meant so damn much to me, I had to keep the promise...

But at what cost?

What use was keeping the promise if the one I was keeping it for was dead? Then what? I would lose it... completely lose it if he....

I gripped the desk almost to the point of breaking it. With a defeated sigh I slumped down into the chair.

I had a phone call to make....

-End Flashback-

_It was harder this time. This time I wasn't looking for Matt. This time I was doing this for him, but hiding it from him was so hard. _

_Lying to him was worse._

_I should have known... if only I had thought it through... then maybe it wouldn't have turned out this way...._

**-End _The End_-**

**AN:** so now we have another part of the story as to why Mello is back to selling himself for information. The next chapter will be in Matt's pov. Um... don't expect this story to be fluffy and cute or anything, its dark..... I just couldn't leave them alone could I? *sigh*

Review and tell me how mean I am to them, and what you like/hate so far. ^_^;


	4. Chapter 3: My Beautiful

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Death Note..... I really don't.... T^T

**AN:** Has anyone noticed how my style has changed a little since the first fic? I don't know, maybe I'm the only one whose noticed.... maybe I'm just crazy... but somehow I doubt it... not the crazy part, that I know...

BTW, this chapter starts directly where the prologue left off. :)

**Suggested Listening:** Give Until Theres Nothing Left **by** Relient K**;** If You Could Only See **by** Tonic

**Chapter Three**: _My Beautiful_

_~Matt~ _

I heard the door slam shut and knew that Mello was home; he was the only one who would ever slam the door. And I highly doubted that someone trying to kill me would slam a door... that would just be stupid beyond belief.

"Hey Mello." I called out to him softly. I heard the _thunk_ of his boots as they hit the carpet, probably after being tossed across the room.

"Sorry I'm so late." he said tiredly. He was always so tired lately. This entire case, as well as the ones he did to pay the rent, was taking their toll on him. I could still hack all our money if it came to it but with the Detective Purge going on he preferred if I didn't.

"Come here?" I asked.

He walked over to me and I noted how tangled his hair was, which meant that he had driven without his helmet. I pulled him towards me and onto my lap. He tensed as I wrapped my arms around him and forced his back to rest against my chest.

He flinched as my hands trailed down his arm but twisted out of my grip when I went to kiss him. "I'm not in the mood for this tonight. I'm too tired." he stood up and with a sigh I watched him walk away from me and into our bedroom.

He never let me touch him anymore. Not just in the sexual sense either; it was like he had suddenly become afraid of touch itself, or like he felt disgusted by it. He would always shrink away even from the smallest thing. A hug, a kiss. It didn't matter. I rubbed at my eyes wearily. Maybe it was just... me?

Was that why things were getting worse instead of better?

I shook those thoughts from my head. Mello wasn't one to stick around in a relationship if he didn't want it. It was probably just the stress. Nothing else made sense.

I looked at the clock, and despite it only being just after eleven, I was tired. Shutting down the computer, and ridding myself of shoes and my new fleece vest, I walked quietly to the closed door.

I didn't bother knocking since it was _our_ bedroom. He was lying on the bed with his back facing me. His shoulders were bare meaning he had stripped to his boxers. Once down to just my boxers I joined him in the bed but made no move to touch him.

"I'm sorry." Mello said; his voice slightly obscured by the pillow.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." I slid closer to Mello and draped an arm across his waist; he immediately stiffened but slowly began to relax after a minute.

Stress it was.

I smiled softly and pressed a kiss to Mello's shoulder before laying my head on the pillow beside his. I laid there, slowly drifting off to the sound of his breathing. So I was surprised when he turned in my hold to face me.

I could just make out the blue of his eyes in the dark; they were tired. But a different kind of tired. A bone weary exhaustion kind of tired.

"Go to sleep. You look like the living dead." I told him. He laughed, a quiet sounding one, and allowed me to pull him closer. This was the most contact he had allowed me in some time and I wasn't going to waste it.

Once he had finally fallen asleep, and only then, did I allow myself to follow.

I awoke some odd hours later, the sun just beginning to rise, to a chaste kiss to my lips and a soft goodbye. Cracking an eye open I noted how Mello was no longer in bed. Which meant that he had left already.

"Wonder what time he'll be back today?" I sighed to myself. I wouldn't dwell on it today, I had too many things to do.

One of them involved calling L back. Apparently he had something important to discuss with me. It didn't bode well whenever he used those terms.

Deciding that sleep was now nothing more than a word, I heaved myself out of bed. I had gotten somewhere around six hours sleep. That was a surprising amount for me so I couldn't really complain; especially when it hadn't been Mello's intention to wake me.

Shuffling across the apartment and into the kitchen I tugged open a cabinet door and looked at the assortment of coffee we had. Honestly, couldn't we open one bag, use it, and _then_ move onto the next one?

I took out the one with the least amount left in it, Kona blend or something, and poured a generous amount into the coffeemaker before starting it. That was one difference between us. I like strong coffee, he did too, but said mine tasted like battery acid.

I rubbed at my face and yawned. "The things I think of before caffeine..."

Grabbing my cigarettes off the counter I pulled one out and lit it while I waited for the coffee to brew. Mello always hated when I smoked inside but I had to remind him that we had no balcony and I wasn't going to walk downstairs just to have one.

Exhaling I watched the cloud of smoke travel upwards and dissipate before it reached the ceiling. Maybe it was a good thing Mello had left so early; I could have my cigarettes without all of the whining and bitching, none of it on my part.

With a smirk I retrieved my coffee cup out of the sink, which was beginning to pile up again, and rinsed it out. Barely waiting for the coffee to finish I pulled out the coffee pot and poured the black coffee into the mug.

Setting the pot on the counter and turning off the coffee maker I added sugar and cream to it. How Mello could drink the stuff black with just chocolate I would never know. Taking an experimental sip I winced as my lips burned.

With a sigh I seated myself at the computer and began task number one for the day. It was an easy hack job, that Mello didn't know about; it was timely but easy, that needed to be done by tonight. It was unfair to make Mello pay all the rent as he was obviously stressed enough as it is.

Maybe now he could take a day off.... though he would probably go off on me for the hacking.

Three hours and four cups of battery acid later I had finished the hack and now had money floating around the account. Hacking paid better than detective work, which now was very dangerous, and there weren't many cases right now.

Or at least not for J. I had done two the week prior but so far nothing else was lined up for the next few days. A far cry from my usual ten or more a day I used to have.

At nine-thirty the doorbell rang making me look up from my e-mail. He was early. "Doors open." I yelled.

With a turn of the knob a tall, dark haired man walked in wearing a white button up shirt and black slacks. "Long time no see J." I rolled my eyes. "I suppose." I closed out my e-mail and stood up.

Task number two of the day, speak with Zane.

"Everyone was real freaked out when they heard you had relocated. Though part of the reason could be no more drug haven."

I snorted at that. "We both know I couldn't stay there anymore, besides the fact that my location was now known."

Zane nodded and sat himself on the couch while pulling his phone out.

"So what did you call me about?" I sat opposite him on the couch and propped my legs up.

"I know you are working on the Detective Purge case, what detective isn't?" I nodded to him.

"You also know that I work at a bar just inside city lines. Some strange people have been coming around lately. Stranger than our usuals."

I cocked my head to the side curiously.

"At first I thought maybe they were tourists or something, we get them all the time. But me and the other bartender, Jennifer, noticed that they only came there after the announcement of a detectives murder." I leaned foreword at this.

"It's probably nothing, it's a time of paranoia, but I figured you'd be interested in it either way."

"Thanks for this. What did they look like?" Zane turned to me and grinned. "Like this." he handed me his phone and on the screen was a picture of three people sitting at a table with drinks littering its surface.

They were in a more shadowed portion of the bar and their faces were mostly hidden, though the shock of long blonde hair stood out easily in the dark atmosphere. It appeared to be a woman though it was hard to tell.

On the blondes index finger was a silver ring. The only reason I was able to see it was because of the light reflected off it.

"You might have found something very interesting. Tell me if they come in again, but don't make it obvious you are looking. People end up dead that way." he shifted uncomfortably but nodded to me.

He stood up after that and I guessed he was leaving. "Send me a copy of this when you can, alright?" I gestured to the picture. Holding out his cell phone I waited for him to take it. When he did his fingers brushed against mine and lingered for longer than I would have liked.

"You want to have a go?" he asks with a coy smile.

"Excuse me?" I raise my eyebrows at him.

"You know exactly what I mean."

I glared at him darkly. "I'm with Mello. You damn well already know this too." Zane just shook his head and sent me an almost pitying look; like he knew something I didn't.

"Whenever you decide that he's not enough, you know my number."

I let him walk out the door without saying another word to him. I have no idea what to make of the look he gave me. And the more I thought on it the more confused I got. So I decided to shake it out of my thoughts for now.

I had to contact L at any rate.

I called the private number back and was met with a recording telling me I had the wrong number. I knew I didn't so I figured this was to alert L that someone had called. Hanging up I waited no more than thirty seconds before my phone rang.

"L." I stated into the receiver. "Correct. I suppose it is down to business then." L said with a sigh. "I feel that the killer is closing in on us. All of us. So I advise you to be extra aware of your surroundings." I rose and eyebrow at that. L, concerned?

"I think we'll be fine. Neither Mello or I have received any suspicious e-mails. We'll be fine until then." L said nothing for a moment; it was a purposeful silence, like he was trying to convey something to me. Was something being kept from me again?

I decided that if he wasn't going just _tell_ me then I couldn't spend my time worrying over it. Even if I asked him he probably wouldn't tell me, so it was pointless.

"Matt, is your computer on?" I blinked. Was the computer _on_? When was it _ever_ off?

"Yeah, why?"

"I am going to send you a video file of the murder of Anastasia Lanceberg. I want your opinion of it." Anastasia Lanceberg? I didn't know she had been found dead.

Sitting at my computer desk I waited for the file to completely transfer before pressing play. A scream rang out through the speakers and I had to quickly turn the volume down before the neighbors thought I was murdering someone.

Instead of watching the murder itself, I began to focus in on the surroundings; things most people wouldn't look at while someone was being tortured on screen in front of them.

It was a dark place, but lit with swinging yellow lights. It was a basement of some sort from the appearance of the walls, which looked like concrete. The area around the woman was cluttered but beyond that, what little could be seen, appeared bare. As though it were a temporary place, or one used specifically for this.

The walls themselves were void of any type of hangings; no pictures, posters or tack boards. Though in the far corner of the room the yellow light shown on three spray painted letters, though it was apparent that there was more to the word. T. A. N.

The ending of the video was of her bleeding to death, and it went blank after despite the player saying there was at least another twenty seconds to the video.

"I suppose you already noticed the letters?" I asked L. "Very good, I doubt Mello would have noticed that right away. Anything about them?"

I shook my head as though he could actually see me. "It could mean anything from _Tanning_ to _Tankers_ or something like that. It's not going to help unless we can see more of the word."

"I suppose..." he trailed off.

"Why ask my opinion on this? Near is with you, so you don't need me." though it was true that I would have scored higher than the albino had I tried to. But we each had our specialties.

"It is always better to have three sets of eyes than one. Each new set brings new information." he stated calmly. "I would like you to keep analyzing the video and if you happen to see something interesting then please contact me." with that L hung up leaving me staring at the phone in irritation.

As much as I respected him, he was a very irritating person at times. With a sigh I clicked play once more on the video and set myself to watch through it again. But before I did that I opened a special program made to decrypt corrupted files, I placed a copy of the video in it and let it run in the background.

About halfway through I heard the door slam shut and Mello paused in the doorway. I could feel his eyes watching me for a moment before he moved again. "What are you watching?" his tone had an edge to it and I wondered if a case was going poorly for him.

"L sent this for me to analyze." I said absently as my eyes were fixated on the video.

"Have you gotten to the end of it yet?" his tone was curious, but it almost seemed like there was fear and annoyance mixed in. A very odd combination.

"Yeah, I watched it once while talking with L. But it seems like the file is corrupted. There is around thirty seconds of footage unaccounted for. I have my program running in the background but so far it's unfixable."

"Oh. What's the video of?" he finally asks. I turn to look at him but notice the oddly heated glare in his eyes. He was pissed off at something, and I doubted it was me. Something was odd about him at the moment...

And it would only get worse if I commented on it. So I would just watch him for the time being, if he slipped up then maybe I could figure out what was going on. He was generally rather good at hiding things when he wanted to, despite being so emotionally driven. Why were all the geniuses in my life so.... complicated?

"It's the murder of Anastasia Lanceberg."

Deciding that my concentration was now shot I closed out the video and looked at the clock. Already eleven-thirty. "Mello. Let's go get something to eat." he looked surprised at my request.

"Before you protest, I hardly ever get to leave the apartment except for cigarettes. I haven't seen much of you lately, pizza perhaps?" I knew that it wasn't very nice of me to guilt him into it but if it worked then it was worth it.

His eyes softened momentarily before he nodded with a heavy sigh. "No fish on the pizza." I smiled, knowing I had won.

Standing quickly I surprised him with a kiss which he leaned into making me smile. With an arm wrapped securely around his waist I pulled back from the kiss. "So, pizza?" he rolled his eyes and I was relieved to see some playfulness in his expression; something he had been lacking in the past months.

"Yeah, let's go get your damn pizza."

-**End **_**My Beautiful**_-

**AN: **I will say one thing, no the blond in the picture isn't Mello, that would have been kinda messed up... :) Hm.. from here on out Matt's chapters will probably get smaller, hopefully not too much so, since the main focus of this IS Mello. Though Matt does play an important part for obvious reasons :)


	5. Chapter 4: 336 hours

**Disclaimer**: I don't, and never will, own Death Note.

**AN**: Oh dear god, I have recently come up with an idea that I _swear _will be the death of me. It will be the biggest undertaking of Death Note fanfiction for me to date. But it won't be out anytime soon since I REFUSE to post it until it's complete. Just thought you should know where my dwindling sanity has gone... I will tell you that it's going to be MelloMatt. I seriously LOVE this pairing.... hehe.

**Suggested Listening**: Sound of Madness **by **Shinedown**; **Feel Good Drag **by **Anberlin (the radio edit, it's shorter than the album version though I love both)

**Chapter Four: **_336 hours _

_~Mello~_

I don't even know what time I left the apartment. I didn't even have a planned destination; I just needed to get out.

I had woken up with Matt's arms around me, pulling me close to his chest. And I just had to... leave.

It shouldn't have bothered me; it should have been a comfort to me. But it wasn't. I couldn't enjoy myself when I knew I was lying to him, when I knew what I was doing behind his back...

It didn't matter that it was to save his life, it didn't matter how many times I tried to justify it to myself. It was still disgusting...

I eventually found myself parked outside of our apartment; I honestly didn't remember getting back. I didn't bother trying to disguise my entrance, he would have notice me even if I had. With the door shut I moved into the living room only to stop short in the doorway. My eyes were locked on the computer screen and all I could see was that _video_.

Where the _hell _had he found that?!

"What are you watching?" I ground out as I stalked over to him, stopping just behind the swivel chair.

"L sent this for me to analyze." his voice was calm and he stayed focused on the video.

My vision blurred for a moment; completely blurred red. That bastard! I could say with certainty that I would not trust L at all for the time being; he was working against me on this case, or was at least untrustworthy as I had _asked_ him to leave Matt out of this.

Though with Matt's eyes he might notice something the rest of us haven't, which would be useful... No, it didn't matter. I still didn't want him involved anymore than he had to be. And this video...

"Have you gotten to the end of it yet?" I asked with what I hoped was a curious tone. He paused as though dissecting my words, looking for something incriminating. I couldn't afford to slip up now.

"Yeah, I watched it once while talking with L. But it seems like the file is corrupted. There is around thirty seconds of footage unaccounted for. I have my program running in the background but so far it's unfixable."

"Oh. What's the video of?" I ask after a few seconds. He turns to look at me and I don't think I was able to hide my fury quick enough. He didn't comment on it, but I knew he would be watching me more closely. He always worried too much, was too curious....

"It's the murder of Anastasia Lanceberg." he said while turning back to the video only to close it out completely. "Mello. Let's go get something to eat." I blinked in surprise. He wanted to go _out_ to eat? Was it that late already...?

"Before you protest, I hardly ever get to leave the apartment except for cigarettes. I haven't seen much of you lately, pizza perhaps?"

I instantly felt guilty. I had been neglecting him... And the hopeful expression on his face didn't help. I had lost before the battle had even begun. "No fish on the pizza."

He smiled widely, a confident and assured smirk. He had known I would cave. I was not expecting Matt to practically jump up and kiss me and before I could stop myself I leaned into his touch. I could feel the smirk against my lips making me sigh.

He still wanted me, at least for now**… **

He wrapped an arm around me before pulling back. "So, pizza?" he questioned. I rolled my eyes but avoided shaking my head.

"Yeah, let's go get your damn pizza."

He stole another quick kiss before happily grabbing the keys to his piece of junk car. "Who said you were driving?" I asked him.

"You honestly want me sitting behind you on the motorcycle?" I felt my face heat up despite myself.

"You're right, I don't." he pouted a little as we exited our apartment. I would allow Matt this little break, since I knew we both needed it, because after this... it was time to sift through the information I had gotten last night.

"Mello, think about the case later." he said softly to me as we got into his car. I was slipping if Matt could read me so easily...

"I'll obviously have to since you're an attention whore."

He smirked devilishly at me. "Yup, that's me." and with the flick of his wrist we were on our way.

"Do you even have a clue where we're going?" I asked after a moment.

"No..." he said after a rather long pause.

I sighed. It was going to be a _long_ break.

It was only once we got to the pizza place, El Dimatio's, that I realized just what I had set myself up for.

As we sat at a table in the back, since we needn't draw attention to ourselves, I could smell the aroma of freshly baking pizza. The hot smell of baking breads, cheese and other toppings... made me rather nauseous.

I took a deep breath but made it out as a sigh so as to not draw Matt's attention. He had already seen the affects of my _work_ before, back when I only knew him as J. Work that I wasn't supposed to be doing ever again.

Once a failure, always a _failure_.

A broken promise to L, a broken promise to Matt.

We were able to agree on a medium three topping pizza. Mushroom, onion and ground beef. I didn't even want to think about what that would look like the second time around...

The waitress was a bubbly auburn haired girl with hazel eyes. "So have you two gentlemen decided yet?" she cocked her head to the side with a large smile, pad in hand and pen poised above the lines. "Yes we'll have-"

As Matt ordered the pizza I began to look around the establishment. The lighting was kind of dark, but not so much that you'd have a hard time seeing. The seats, including the booths, were all a dark wood and not cheap plastic like in other places.

There was artwork of Italy and France all around the walls. Small but decorative wine bottles sat upon shelves lined with fake grapes, tomatoes and garlic. It was a pretty nice place. Dragging my eyes along the row of customers my breath caught.

Oh no.

Dark eyes, even darker hair and a lusty smirk were directed at me from across the room. It was the guy from last night.

Fuck.

"Mello?" my head snapped in Matt's direction and I forced a smile on my face. "Yeah?"

"Oh, nothing. You just seemed to... I don't know, space?"

I nodded. "I was just checking the place out. For not knowing where you were going you picked nicely." he grinned, my lie was believed.

"Alright, I lied. I pass this place while getting my cigarettes." it was hard to concentrate on Matt when I could _feel _that man undressing me with his eyes. Keep looking because you will _never _touch this body again, I thought to myself.

"You should quit." he stared at me. Just stared. Like I had said something stupid.

"Can you quit your chocolate?" he questioned incredulously.

"My chocolate isn't a drug." I countered with a smirk.

"It might as well be with as much of it as you eat."

"And yet it won't give me lung cancer." I stated dryly.

"No, just diabetes."

I rolled my eyes. "If I don't have it yet I doubt I'm going to get it."

"Same."

"Stubborn ass."

"I have nothing to say to that." he said after a moment. I smirked. Victory.

"Bastard."

"A little late on that."

He was about to retort when the pizza was placed between us. "Thank you." he told the waitress, who blushed, before he began to cut himself a slice. "If you need _anything_ else just ask."

I narrowed my eyes at her as she walked away. "Mel just eat your pizza, there is no need to be jealous. She doesn't even hold a candle to you."

With a huff I took the smallest piece I could find without making it obvious that I was. Tearing off a piece I hardly chewed it as the flavor made me want to gag. It wasn't the pizza that was bad, just food in general.

"Wow this is great. We might have to come here more often." I nodded in agreement I didn't feel. If I never ate food again it would be too soon.

Somehow I managed to down three slices of pizza, while Matt ate five.

"I'm stuffed." he commented.

I snorted in amusement. "You should be."

He gave me a withering look but I knew it was in jest. My stomach churned unpleasantly and I clamped my mouth shut quickly as the bile rose. Clenching my fists I forced my self to wait until the waitress brought over our check.

"Let me just go to the restroom before we leave." Matt nodded and sank further into the seat, sipping on his soda. Passing the counter I walked down the hallway and into the men's bathroom.

Quickly shutting a stall door behind me I heaved into the toilet; all the food I had just eaten being purged from my stomach. I hated this. Not being able to eat because everything brought back the memories... the touches, the sounds, the smells. Everything.

Taking a calming breath I forced myself onto my feet and went to the sinks. My skin was pale and my mouth tasted like a dumpster. Rinsing my mouth and splashing some water on my face I sighed.

"Freshening yourself up for me?" a voice called from my left. Spinning, my hand on my gun, I faced the dark eyed man.

"What do you want?" I snarled. He _tsk_ed.

"Is that how you treat everyone after they fuck you?" I shivered. "What. Do. You. Want?"

"How would you react if I said _you_?"

"I'd pull out my gun and shoot you." I told him seriously. I had to get going, any longer and Matt was going to get suspicious. And this time it was no longer just about throwing up.

"Are you really going to act like that to someone who gave you information? Who in the future might give you information?" he took a step foreword and I pulled out my gun.

"If you think I'm joking keep walking." eyes narrowed and heart pounding I found my grip on the gun tenuous at best. It would be very bad if I had to kill him here. Ex-mafia with connections or not I would be in hot water.

He turned around as the door opened and my breath caught.

"I thought you were taking a little too long." Matt commented dryly. I didn't know if I felt more like kissing him or hitting him at the moment so I settled for a smirk. "I apparently had some trash to take out."

"Oh, is that all?" Matt pulls out a cigarette and lights it while leaning on a sink. He gave off a _I don't give a fuck_ attitude but I knew that if this guy made one false move Matt would interfere in a second.

"Are you sure this is how you want it?" the man asked. I nodded and made motions with the gun for him to leave. He gave my body a once over before turning to the door. "I doubt this will be the last time we see one another."

"That's what you think." I hissed under my breath. Matt moved once the door had swung shut and the footsteps had faded.

"Who was that?" Matt asks curiously, though I could see the darker question below it. _What were you doing with him? _

"He's just an old acquaintance. One I'd like to stay old."

The previously calm, and dare I say enjoyable, atmosphere was gone. An awkward silence had taken root and I wasn't sure where the conversation would go if I broke it. Matt had already paid so we just left after that; the upside was I didn't have to see that idiot waitress flirting with my boyfriend anymore.

The air in the car smelt stale, the smell of one too many cigarettes. It was funny how I'd only noticed it when I was trying to ignore the silence. I practically ran from the car the moment it was parked.

I didn't want to deal with all of this right now; I had a flash drive to look through. I left the door open behind me and fled to the bedroom. I shut the door and turned the lock with a _click_. I heard his keys hit the counter and the door close softly.

"Mello?" I closed my eyes and chose not to answer. Bringing my computer out of hibernation I stuck the flash drive in a USB port and waited for it to come up.

The drive was a mess until I ran the data through a decryption program Matt had created. Numbers and symbols became folders and documents after that and I was able to sort through the two folders.

One was filled with pictures, some blurred and some not, while the other had a single document in it. Clicking on the document, which was about sixteen pages, I began to read through it.

It ended up being one of the single most valuable leads in this case so far. I didn't know how far it would take me but it was worth looking into. And it was worth sending to Near, I was still pissed at L so I refused to send him anything. Childish, but it worked for me.

Though knowing those two, they had already obtained this information.

I had to tread carefully, because according to this data, I was dealing with some _very_ dangerous people.

An organization to be exact. It wasn't even known how large or small it was. And it wasn't even really known as anything, but had been given the name _The Organization_.

"Not very creative of the person who named it, but it could be more clichéd I guess..." I mumbled.

It was filled with highly skilled people, what kind remained a mystery. It could be doctors and rocket scientists for all I knew.

With the exception of the top three. They were trained in infiltration, torture and a few other nice things. From what the data suggested, they were the ones in charge of, and carrying out, the Detective Purge. Pretty much, they were assassins.

Though it didn't even touch on possible meeting places or known associates. I was lucky I had gotten this much. But I had to hurry, Matt was down to only fourteen days... and that was entirely too short.

If I didn't get everything ready by then...

Forcing those thoughts to the back of my mind I opened the other folder. Dozens of pictures popped up, and I tried to sift through the crap ones.

One picture showed three figures, with hoods drawn tight over their faces, sitting at a table drinking. It could have been a bar or just a restaurant. But it was clear that one of them was female due to soft curves of the body and just the barest hint of breasts under the dark baggy clothing.

There was nothing notable on any of them, all clad in dark clothing. Much like one would in a secret society, or in their case, much like an assassin would. Though there was one thing I did notice upon enhancing the photograph.

The blonde woman, as I was calling the figure now, always wore a silver ring on one of her index fingers. Now, either there were two blonde women, or the ring switched hands continuously.

One of the others also had a silver ring, though it was always on a thumb. There were no pictures of the thirds hands so I couldn't tell if the rings were some sort of identification thing for the organization or just a coincidence.

But one thing was for certain, this was all valuable information.

Finally done going over everything, I wrote a quick, and insulting, e-mail to Near. In which I attached all the proper files. With that unpleasant thing done, there was only one thing left to do.

Call Jasper.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like anything that comes out of your mouth?" I laughed humorlessly at his disgruntled tone.

"Because you are usually right." I told him. He sighed heavily. "What is it now that I have to do?"

"You just have to say that the information I have was given to me by you. That's all. Naturally you will get paid."

"That's it? I get money just for lying?" I rolled my eyes irritably at him though he couldn't see. "Yes." I hissed into the phone.

"Why?" I hadn't expected that particular question.

"This is important information Jasper. That's why." he sucked in a breath at my tone. "Case breaking stuff?"

"Maybe, maybe not. If it leads us to them then obviously yes. If not..." we both knew what the alternative would be.

"Fine, so what is the story?"

"You, as a favor to me, were able to obtain a flash drive full of data about an organization that is supposedly the mastermind behind the Detective Purge. Your main reason was that you would be out of business if all the detectives were gone. Which sadly is kind of the truth." he laughed but didn't deny the last statement.

Detectives will use any source if they truly want to solve a case.

"Alright. And what's this I hear about you pulling a gun on someone in a pizzeria bathroom?" I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at it for a moment. "Mello?"

"That bastard is lucky Matt walked in or I _would_ have shot him." I said finally.

"Whoa, I thought you were going to at least stick to one of your promises? Why were you pointing it at him in the first place, I hear that Takahashi isn't too happy with you right now. That guy is a big customer."

Closing my eyes I rubbed at them with my free hand. "No need to remind me." I spoke softly. "Oh shit, sorry-"

"It's fine. Matt and I were eating there, at the end of lunch I went in there and as I was leaving that idiot decided he _wants_ me after our transaction had already ended." I snorted.

"So you pulled a gun on him?" Jasper sounded just a little incredulous.

"Before he started something, yes."

"I should thank Matt, he made sure you kept your word." I winced again at the mention of keeping promises. Jasper kept slipping up with his references almost to the point that I wondered if it was on purpose.

And it might have been. He had been very vocal in telling me he didn't like what I was doing to myself. But I would do it all again in a heartbeat if it kept Matt alive. And that was why Jasper had never told him.

"One question." he asked.

"Shoot." he snorted at my choice of words.

"Where are you that you can talk to me this freely?" I felt my heart clench rather painfully.

"I'm...home." I hesitated.

"Home? Then is Matt out?"

"You said one question."

"Don't be a bastard." he barked.

"No, he's here. I just locked myself in our bedroom since lunch..."

He sighed deeply, and sounded as though he was loosing his patience. "You aren't making things easy for him are you? At least leave your hiding place long enough to talk to him for a change. God I think some women are easier to deal with then you..."

I decided that he didn't deserve an answer due to his last statement, so I hung up on him.

**-End 336 Hours-**

**AN:** Hahah what a nice spot to end it... if I hadn't this chapter would have kept going on and on.

Now, how is everyone liking this so far.... I'm kinda worried actually... I'm not sure how this is doing as a sequel, so feedback would be appreciated.

**Special thanks to my reviewers** (I totally fail as I've been a lazy sod the last three chapters and didn't put this) : Sightlines, MayKitty

Also vote on my new profile poll (if isn't being evil and still showing my old one… seriously what is up with all the issues on here lately?)

And **REVIEW**!


	6. Chapter 5: Grasping Straws

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note

**AN**: This chapter is short, I know. but I did state earlier that Matt's chapters would be shorter..... don't hurt me... you'll like the next chapter..... hehe sorta.

**Suggested Listening**: Toxic Valentine **by **Time Low**; **Star **by **Cinema Bizarre

**Chapter Five**: _Grasping Straws_

_~Matt~ _

I had just gotten in the door and shut it softly and thrown my keys onto the counter when I noticed the bedroom door was shut. I sighed. He was probably unhappy at the moment. The atmosphere in the car had been... bad to say the least.

"Mello?" I called softly through the door. I know he heard me because all movement stopped for a moment before continuing on; he was ignoring me. My shoulders drooped. Maybe _I_ would kill that guy; we had been having such a good day for once and then that stupid man had to ruin it.

Turning from the door I headed for my own computer, there was no sense in waiting for Mello to come out, he would when he was good and ready and not a moment sooner. At least some things hadn't changed over the years...

Bringing the murder video back up, I plugged in my headphones so it wouldn't be heard. About five minutes into it I noticed something on the killer's hand. A silver ring, like the blonde in the photo Zane had given me earlier.

Granted it was a bit of a stretch, but nothing could be ruled out as coincidence with this case. Not until it was proven false.

I slowed the video down and zoomed in as far as I could. The ring was on the figures middle finger. I could almost make out faint writing on the top of it but when I tried to zoom in further the image began to distort.

There was definitely a connection between those hooded figures, the rings and the Detective Purge. We just needed more information.

Going back over the video I tried to find out anything else, any other scrap of data I might have missed. There was nothing. It was so frustrating. I was just about to quit for the day when I heard the light squeak of the bedroom door as it opened.

I sat there, staring at the screen as soft footsteps padded across the living room to stop a few feet from me. "Matt?" Mello's voice was hesitant but I couldn't bring myself to answer him despite my earlier willingness to talk.

I heard something crumple behind me, almost like a wrapper...

"Matt, on my laptop there are files that Jasper sent me. They are very important, so look them over. I'm leaving since there is obviously no reason for me to be here at the moment." I cringed at his icy tone; perhaps ignoring him hadn't been the best option.

Before I could even say anything to him he stormed out of the apartment and slammed the door. "Well that went well..." I muttered. For once Mello was being apologetic, in his own way, and I kind of threw it back in his face. Great job Mail, I thought to myself.

Taking out my phone I called Mello, but as expected, he didn't pick up. There goes an afternoon of progress...

Heaving myself up from the chair I decided that I would at least look at the data right now. There was a flash drive sticking out of the USB port, and two folders pulled up on the screen. With a sigh I seated myself again, honestly I needed to get out more all I did was sit, and clicked on a folder.

Opening the one document I read thought I would just skim through it. I ended up reading the entire thing. This was... this might be what we were looking for. If all this was true...

The next folder was filled with pictures, pictures like the one I had received from Zane. "Damn." Zane needed to be real careful now with watching them, these were assassin level people.

I sent him a quick text telling him to watch out for those three since they were _very _dangerous. Hopefully he would listen. If not I had no doubt they would kill him, detective or not.

"Those rings.." I muttered. The only one not seen was the third members, and I suspected that was the one from the video. The one with the ring on their middle finger. Flipping open my phone I ran through my contacts list and found what I was looking for.

After the incident with Mikami Teru I had programmed Jasper's number into my cell phone.

"Well if it isn't the illusive J." Jasper said upon answering. Despite him knowing my name he still insisted on calling me J.

"Hello Jasper." I sighed.

"To what do I owe the honor of your call?"

"Mello actually." I heard him groan. "What sort of trouble is he creating for me now?"

"Nothing, I just have a question."

"Well if that's all, fire away." he said after a brief pause and I wondered if I had interrupted him.

"What sort of information was on that flash drive you gave him?" he hesitated for a moment.

"Pictures along with data on an organization; that is all I will say on the phone. If Mello didn't show you anything you'll have to get him to, it's important shit he asked me to get." Jasper's words were harsh and bitter, like there was something else going on in the background.

"No, he left the stuff here. I just wanted to know if you had actually gotten it." I sighed in relief. It wasn't that I doubted Mello, I just didn't want him using his mafia connections to get this. Who knew what sort of favor they would want from him in return.

Jasper laughed. "Clever boy." I blinked. Even for him, Jasper was acting odd. "I have to go. Some trash just walked in." he cut off the connection and I was left with dial tone.

Just what was going on with everyone these days? Shaking my head in slight irritation I dialed another number. I didn't know if Mello had sent this to him yet, or if he already knew about this... but I had to call.

"Matt. I suppose you are calling about the information Mello sent Near." my eyes widened. Mello sent it to _Near_ and not L?

"Yeah. Did you piss him off?" I was unable to keep from asking. Sometimes, despite being twenty-something, my curiosity got the better of me.

There was a pause. "I suppose you could say that. Yes." Maybe that was why Mello was acting more stressed by the day. He had always looked up to L, and I doubted it had diminished that much through the years, so it was plausible he would react in such a way if L had done something he deemed terrible enough.

But the moment I thought it, I discarded it. We weren't kids anymore. There had to be something more going on the background between the two. I just didn't have the energy to figure it out at the moment.

"I just called to make sure you had the information." I lit another cigarette and let it dangle at the corner of my mouth.

"See ya." I muttered before ending the call. I doubted very much that L would be offended; he still hated talking on phones.

I called Mello's phone once more but it stated that his phone was either turned off or the network down. Well wasn't that wonderfully helpful?

With nothing more to do I went back over the data Jasper had retrieved. I needed to go over it again, memorize it. And once that was done, go back through the video file L had sent me. It was an extreme long shot, since I had already watched the video so many times, but there might be something we were missing.

It might have been hours later, it might have been minutes, but something broke my concentration.

Hearing the dull roar of a motorcycle approaching I turned to glance out the window; lights came into view as the sound of the engine became louder. I could just make it out as it parked across the street.

Mello was back.

My lips were on his the moment he walked through the door. He was startled but didn't reach for his gun, I was lucky. "I'm sorry." I murmured to him.

He relaxed in my grip, slumping against me. "I started it." he sighed. I looked at him, really looked at him, at that. He had bags forming under his eyes, his clothes were rumpled and his hair was a mess.

"Where were you?"

"At Jasper's. We got into a little bit of a fight though." he laughed. My eyebrows shot up.

"About what?" he instantly tensed. "Mello?"

"It was nothing, please drop it." Mello was asking, not telling, me to do something. "Mello." he shuddered.

"No. Leave it." he almost pleaded.

I tilted his head up and stared into his blue eyes. They were guarded, cautious. "Fine." I told him. If he wanted to hide things then I supposed they were none of my business. I unwound my arms and pulled away from him.

There would always be things that he hid from me, always. But that didn't mean I was going to make it easy for him. Especially when I could tell that the secret was hurting him.

"Please..." I stopped in my tracks and turned around. "I _can't_ tell you." he wasn't looking at me and his posture was hunched; so unlike him.

"It's fine. I understand." he flinched at my words.

"Don't you have something that you can't even tell me?" his voice was quiet.

"No." I answered truthfully. There was nothing I would hide if he asked. Even if it was about the seven years we were apart. And maybe part of our inability to communicate well stemmed from the fact that we seemed to have unconsciously agreed _not_ to talk about it.

We may love each other, but that alone wasn't enough. That much was obvious.

His hands clenched at his sides and I thought he was going to leave again, just like that, and it would have been the end of it. We would never breach the conversation again; just continue to drift further apart. And it was sad that I expected him to do just that.

Instead he seemed to deflate. He leaned against the wall and slid down still not looking at me. "Not tonight... just not now." I smiled. It was a promise, one that I would make him keep.

"Tonight just... stay." he whispered. He was worrying me. He was not one to show his gentler or more vulnerable emotions and yet he was all but pleading me. It was unnerving.

Kneeling down in front of him I pulled him against me and was surprised when he didn't resist. Even more so when he returned the embrace. Whatever they had fought about had shaken him to the core. He was very needy at the moment.

But I didn't mind, he might not ever let me see him like this again. I smiled.

"My Mihael."

**-End _Grasping Straws_-**

**AN:** ok I know of you are probably like 'why is Mello so emotional?'. Well think of it this way. He finally has Matt back in his life, even though things are strained by the case, and suddenly Matt may only have 14 days left to live if he can't solve the mystery. So he's doing things he shouldn't for information, worried about his boyfriend and stressed to high hell, now tell me you wouldn't be just the slightest bit emotional, even if you normally aren't? lol.

**Special thanks to last chapter reviewers**: Misha2011, Sightlines, Possesed4evr, and Diabolus Kara (who pm'd me, its still counts! lol)


	7. Chapter 6: Only Scars

**Disclaimer**: I do Not Own Death Note, K?

**AN**: Not as long as I would have liked...... (*everyone looks at length* are you insane?!) But I think you will like the songs for this chapter, these were the main ones on my playlist as I wrote it. :)

And this was a b*itch to edit...... just to let everyone know...... (and there are probably _still _errors..... sorry)

Oh yeah.... there _may _be material in this chapter that people are not comfortable with, a forewarning.

**Suggested Listening**: Rescue **by **KAT**-**TUN (I wrote the beginning using this :) Misfit **by **Lesley Roy**; **Touching and Kissing** by **Bizarre (I wrote _something _with this song on repeat)**; **Do This Anymore **by **Nickelback**; **Erase and Replace **by **Cinema Bizarre

**Chapter Six**: _Only Scars _

_~Mello~_

I didn't care about the door that slammed behind me. I didn't care that I should be showing the data to Matt... I didn't care.

I was pissed. If he wanted to ignore me then fine. "Have fun on your own then." I snarled as I mounted the motorcycle. I carelessly shoved on my helmet and sped off with no real destination in mind.

I was halfway to my old apartment before deciding where I needed to go. I did a quick u-turn without looking around and stepped on the gas to avoid getting into an accident. My heart pounded in my chest, adrenaline flowing through my veins.

I needed to calm down, focus on nothing but the driving. If I didn't, then I wouldn't have to worry about saving Matt....I wouldn't have to worry at _all_.

My eyes hardened the closer I got to my destination and by the time I was walking down that hallway I was completely stone. I had to play this correctly; otherwise I would lose a _very_ important source.

"Ah, Mike. I don't suppose I need to ask why you are here." Takahashi said as he gazed up from his overstuffed chair.

"No. You probably have it all worked out. Nevertheless, it's about the incident earlier today." instead of my usual careless display, I sat attentively in front of the older man.

"You upset a rather temperamental customer today; any reason to this?" he questioned.

I grit my teeth. Oh yes I had a _damn_ good reason. "He tried to initiate something after our transaction had ended. I'm sure you know the one, as you had Amanda set it up. I told him to back off, he didn't." granted I hadn't said that exactly, but it was most certainly implied.

"So you pulled a gun on him?" I nodded. No point in trying to deny something that he already knew as fact. "And you didn't shoot him? I must say I'm a little surprised."

"I might have if my friend hadn't come in then." Takahsahi eyed me for a minute before nodding. "Alright, I'll let you off this time since you weren't the one to start the trouble, even he admitted as much. Originally he wanted you as payment for the trouble caused..."

I narrowed my eyes but remained silent.

"However I have decided to keep the two of you apart, I get the sense that you won't be so kind to him in the future." at this I snorted. In short, he knew I would shoot the bastard if he so much as _looked _me the wrong way again, never mind touch me.

Though that may be bit of an exaggeration on my part now; but Takahashi didn't know about my promises, broken or otherwise.

"But in return I want you to entertain two foreign customers tomorrow night. I have a rather large deal going on with them and told them I would find someone suitable to their tastes."

I bit back a sigh of frustration.

"I will _only _do this if you can get me more information on a group called, creatively enough, The Organization. I need everything that can be found on them, and I will need it within the next week." those were the terms I set, and I would not bow unless they were met. I still had some pride left.

Takahashi seemed to be weighing his options. I knew that even with his extensive connections, he would be hard pressed to find the right person willing to entertain two men at once; that would help me immensely. I was no stranger to multiple partners during sex; however those days were long passed. To do this...

"Alright Mike, you have a deal. But only because I have a feeling this request of yours has to do with the Detective Purge. It's rather bad for business if I lose my clientele to murder."

Standing up, I bowed. "Thank you."

"I will send the details to your e-mail." I said nothing and started out of the room. "Mike, I have always rather enjoyed your company. Try to stay out of trouble." Takahashi called to me. I waved a hand but continued on my way.

Before I realized it my hand had strayed to my rosary; I would need to leave this at home tomorrow.

I checked the time. It was still too early to go home; I hadn't been out long enough to have gotten rid of my anger. Just because I was pissed off at Matt didn't mean I wanted to take it out on him.

Closing my eyes and rubbing my face I exhaled.

I needed to see if Jasper still had a spare pair of my clothes, I would need to shower once my 'entertaining' was done. I shivered at the thought but forced everything to the back of my mind. I would end up going crazy if I kept going over it again and again.

My somewhat calm mood was instantly destroyed the moment I walked into Jasper's place.

"I have to go. Some trash just walked in." Jasper had that _look_ on his face; this was not going to be a pleasant visit. "I just got off the phone with Matt." That would explain the look.

"Weren't you supposed to be talking to him? And what's this about you just leaving the data for him to look at; you sounded excited earlier so I find it hard that you would suddenly not care."

"I was going to talk to him until he decided to ignore me! He's smart; he can look at the data all by himself." I snapped.

"So you decided to storm out like a spoiled child?" Jasper snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Since when the _fuck_ do you give a shit about what goes on in my personal life, you are just a contact, someone for me to use."

"Since you became a friend you stupid bastard!" I stumbled back as his fist crashed against my face. Landing against the door I stayed there wide eyed knowing I had crossed a line I shouldn't have.

"I think he is beginning to figure things out." he began slowly. "Maybe not what you are doing, but that there is at something going on with you." he leaned against an arm chair and stared at me. "You need to tell him."

"You know I can't."

"Why? Just so he isn't worried about his own life, like he should be?"

"Exactly, people make mistakes when they are worried or frightened."

"Like you are?" my eyes narrowed at him. "You need to tell him his life is in danger! Stop trying to do everything on your own, you're doing nothing but destroying what you have left!" he shouted at me.

"I _won't _tell him."

"Then I refuse to help you anymore." I bit the inside of my cheek so I couldn't say anything else stupid.

"So be it." I stood, took one last look at Jasper and walked out the door. I didn't bother to shut it; if he wanted it closed he could damn well do it himself.

I got as far as the stairwell before punching the wall. "Fuck!" Too many things were going wrong too fast. Of all the times for me to act like this… right when I would need his help the most. This was exactly why I could, no should, never be L. I couldn't even be _Mello_.

While I wanted to stay out a little longer I didn't have anywhere to go… I didn't bother with my helmet this time; I didn't think it mattered really. If I got into an accident I doubted very much a helmet would help if I got run over or crushed.

Lips crashed onto mine the moment I walked in the door and if I hadn't known it was Matt I might have pulled out my gun. "I'm sorry." He said against me. I suddenly felt like I had no strength, I slumped into his arms.

"I started it." I sighed. And I had, really. Matt looked down at me, searching, but for what I wasn't sure. "Where were you?" he asked.

"At Jasper's. We got into a bit of a fight though." I laughed, well if that wasn't a huge understatement…

"About what?" I couldn't help it, my body tensed. "Mello?"

"It was nothing, please drop it." I really didn't want to get into another fight with Matt, not now. But I sure as hell couldn't tell him what the fight was about; I shouldn't have even brought it up.

"Mello." I shuddered. He could usually get me with that tone, but not today. "No. Leave it."

He tilted my head and stared at me, like he was looking into my soul. "Fine." He said but his voice was void of emotion. I didn't know what his thoughts were, but I knew I had fucked up again.

All these secrets… were killing us.

His pulled his arms away and I felt a strong urge to just spill everything to him, everything. We were falling apart at the seams because of me but I couldn't…

"Please…" he stopped moving away from me and turned. I hunched foreword a little, like a puppet whose strings had been cut. I was so tired of all the fighting. "I_ can't_ tell you."

"It's fine. I understand." I flinched; there was that tone again. "Don't you have something you can't even tell me?" I asked just above a whisper.

"No." his response was immediate and my hands clenched. He meant it, he would tell me everything if I asked but I… wouldn't.

I thought about walking right back out that door and finding somewhere else to stay for the night. If I did that though, things would forever be changed. And not in a good way. I had already fucked so much up between us and I wasn't going to do it again. Not now.

I leaned against the wall for support but slid down to the floor anyway. I didn't bother looking at him. "Not tonight… just not now." I felt so damn weak and I hated it. Hated feeling like everything was crumbling.

"Tonight just… stay." I whispered.

I could see when he knelt down before me and I allowed him to hold me. I just needed to feel him at the moment, even just for this second. I wrapped my arms around him and sat there.

"My Mihael." He whispered gently into my ear. I fought back my emotions because if I broke down now… then he would not stop until I had told him everything.

I wasn't sure how long we stayed like this, but once I got my emotions in check I wanted nothing to do with the hugging. He seemed to sense this for he pulled back with a sigh but kissed me before pulling me to my feet. I hadn't flinched that time.

"It's late, bed?"

Bed already? How long had we been here? I had gotten back around nine...

It really wasn't all that late, merely eleven, but I was emotionally drained. "Sleep sounds good." I replied quietly. He nodded and I allowed him to pull me towards our room. "I'll let you have the bathroom first." I smiled.

Gathering a change of clothes, because sleeping in leather was not advisable, I shut the door behind me as Matt began to change in our room. Now it wasn't that I was bothered by changing in front of him it was just something I had always done away from others. And habits are hard to break.

Stripping naked I looked at myself in the mirror. Bruises and cuts littered my body. Feint impressions of teeth and faded marks from fingernails riddled my torso. Unconsciously I let my fingers trace each and every blemish across the mirrors cold surface.

My fingers clenched and dung into the mirror.

"Hurry up Mello its cold." I quickly looked away from the mirror and changed. Looking at the product of sin wouldn't make it any less of a sin.

I was lucky the light was already off for I had neglected to bring a shirt in with me. I wasn't exactly known for wearing them to bed either...

He didn't try to hold me, he didn't even try to sleep close to me; and for that I was thankful. I laid awake for an undetermined amount of time thinking about the next evening before I eventually fell asleep.

-

_Coffee?_

Blinking the sleep from my eyes I peered out from under the covers to see Matt's highly amused expression.

"I try and wake you for half an hour yet the moment you smell coffee you rouse yourself from a dead sleep. Amazing." he shook his head with a laugh. I couldn't see what was so amusing at- nine am- seeing as he already knew my sleeping habits. Wait.

"It's already nine?" I groaned into the coffee but didn't move to sit up. I had slept around eight hours. Two hours more than usual. His side of the bed dipped and I opened my eyes again; he was sitting there looking at me with his impossibly green eyes.

Taking a sip of coffee I kept my expression neutral. What was all this about? There was work to be done and-

"Mello?"

I cocked my head to the side. "What?"

"Stop thinking so much." he leaned over and gave me a quick kiss before rolling off the bed and wandering out of the bedroom. His breath had tasted of mint and smoke. Both disgusting and comforting.

What was with all the sudden touches and kisses? But as I thought on it, it was mostly me that had shied away from contact. And yet it only took one night for me to allow it-

"Mello, stop overanalyzing everything. I made breakfast so get up already." I blinked. Matt made me breakfast? Matt _made_ breakfast.

I jumped out of bed; the coffee nearly sloshing over the sides of the cup. Carelessly throwing on clothes I hurried out into the kitchen. "Well that was quick." Matt mumbled around a hot pocket breakfast _thing_.

"Oh thank god." I sighed in relief as he eyed me bemusedly. Matt was, under no circumstances, allowed to make _anything_. Ever. Unless it was prepackaged and microwavable. Not after he tried to make a can of soup on the stove... lets just say the end result was _not_ edible.

"Oh, you thought I cooked. Ha. Maybe I should say I made breakfast more often if it gets you out of bed this fast." I scowled at him over the rim of the coffee mug. At least he knew better than to cook...

I grabbed a breakfast pocket off the dish and forced myself to take a bite. I hoped that with the coffee in my system, it would help settle my churning stomach. Or at least long enough that it wouldn't immediately look suspicious if I went to the bathroom...

"Mello, you awake enough yet?" I looked up from the food clutched in my fingers. I nodded.

"Then I want to go over the case and the stuff that Jasper got." Jasper, that's right. The bastard abandoned me.

"Alright, let's go." I placed the breakfast pocket back on the plate, my coffee on the counter, and followed him from the kitchen. With any luck he wouldn't bug me about not eating....

His laptop was already open to the pictures of The Organization members. He had one in particular up, the one where the three of them were seated together. He said nothing and I watched as he pulled up anther photo almost identical to that one.

"This one here, he pointed to the second picture, was taken by a friend of mine at his work." I stared at the picture for a long moment.

"How long ago?" he turned to me and smiled.

"Just after the last murder." I exhaled sharply. Not long ago at all.

"We may just have something. For once..." with them so close it made me nervous. Why here? Why not spend time further away from the main area of murders? Did they do this with every area in which they killed? Sitting at a bar and laughing at how incredibly close they are to their prey...

Matt's arms wrapped around me and I was pulled onto his lap with an undignified squeak that only he could ever manage. He smiled brightly at me and I fought back an answering one.

"What are you doing?" I stared into his eyes curiously.

"Nothing, I just wanted to see if you would let me." I rolled my eyes but was happy. It was almost back to normal, in a strange way. He held me tighter and I didn't pull away for a long while. These moments were just as important as the case...

At around six o'clock I snuck into the bathroom and hid a change of clothing behind some towels before I headed for the kitchen. Matt was sitting at the table, his laptop on the table, and was brewing a pot of coffee.

"I'm going to see Jasper, I'll be back in a few hours." when he didn't look up I rolled my eyes at his headphones. I grabbed my coat and threw it on. Waving a hand in front of his face he was startled.

I smirked as he took off his headphones. "I'm going to Jasper's. I'll see you later." he pulled me in for a kiss but I only let his lips touch my cheek before I pulled away.

I almost forgot my cell phone in my haste to leave. The longer I stayed, the harder it would be for me tonight.

I pulled up the directions on my phone and memorized them before heading out.

The hotel room was nice, rather large and too expensive for my tastes, but then again it wasn't mine. The walls were a soft blue with the carpet a cream color. All the furniture was made of a mahogany type of wood but the coverings were plain white with no decorative patterns.

White was for purity. I snorted. How ironic.

"So you must be Mike? Funny you don't look like a Mike." a heavy German accent greeted me from the left. The man before me was younger than I had expected, usually they were older. I shuddered.

He was tall with well toned muscles; black hair and blue eyes, and wearing nothing but a towel. The door opened and shut behind me and a hand ran down the length of my back; I forced myself not to recoil.

"Taka sure picked an interesting one. The scar suits him well, dangerous but exotic."

The other man nodded in agreement before loosing his towel. He raised an eyebrow when I didn't look at him; I seemed to be amusing him. In truth I had no reason to look, I didn't care. Rough hands began to unzip my jacket. "Shall we?"

Once devoid of clothing I was led to the bed and pushed onto it. The man above me was the one who had come late. He had very sharp features; light blonde, almost platinum blonde, hair and sky blue eyes.

"As much as I would love to take you right here, you have both of us to pleasure." he moved further over on the bed. "On your knees." the dark haired one called softly; he stood in front of the bed already fully erect.

I did as I was _told_, because in no way had that been a suggestion. The blondes hands travled across my back and headed downwards. I could remember much gentler ones doing the same what seemed like so long ago...

I refused to breakdown; I couldn't afford to do so. The information I would gain from this... I flinched at the hardness that pressed near my mouth. .... It was worth it, right?

Hands roughly pulled at my hair and the hard length was shoved eagerly into my mouth while fingers prodded my entrance. It _was_ worth it. Grabbing hold of the length with one hand I pulled my mouth back before slowly sucking on the tip; the man groaned and his hands tightened in my hair; I could feel strands coming lose. Swirling my tongue I let it dip into the slit making the man buck into me. It _had_ to be worth it.

Cold fingers wrapped around my hips and the other guy pushed inside me roughly. Forcing myself not bite down in pain I continued my ministrations to the cock in my mouth. Nails dug into me and the bruising pace was set.

I sucked harshly and began to bob my head in time with the manic thrusts. A calloused hand slid along my back and across my side stopping at my stomach. I groaned and the man I was sucking off moaned harshly.

My breath hitched as something was hit that sent a jolt of pleasure ripping through me. I shut my eyes and willed away any thoughts of pleasure, I had never enjoyed this before and I would be damned if I started to now.

With one final suck sperm filled my mouth and I was forced to swallow it or choke.

With a soft _pop_ the man slid from my mouth and I was free to grit my teeth as I was forced foreword into the bed by the hand at my neck. My face was held against the mattress and I thought it would almost be amusing if I somehow suffocated from this.

With the new angle his thrusts went deeper and the pace became quicker. I let my mind wander as my body was abused. It led me straight to red hair and green eyes making me choke back a cry of agony. He would _never_ want me after all of this. But if he lived then... then it was, ok?

Warm fluid filled me as the man above me rode out his orgasm; his nails ripped at the flesh of my hips and I knew there would be marks left. "Fuck." the man stated. His breaths were harsh and he waited a moment before pulling out.

He moved away and I was allowed to sit up. "Don't think you are done just yet, Karl may be through with you but I'm not."

I hadn't expected him to be, not with just a blow job. With complete disregard for me he pushed me roughly backwards and I winced as my head slammed against the headboard. This wasn't going to be fun.

"Taka says you are the best, that you never lose your cool. But I wonder what you would sound like if you did, hmm?" my eyes narrowed defiantly at him and he laughed. Takahashi had better get me damn good information for this.

His hand ran gently up my side with deceptively soft touches. The moment he reached my face I was backhanded. I didn't make a sound, but if this kept up it would be very hard to hide the bruises from Matt.

He used my momentary distraction to yank me further down the bed and grabbed at my legs. He threw a leg over his shoulder and entered me with one smooth movement. I tried to keep the discomfort off my face but he must have seen it anyway for he smirked. "You are good at hiding your expressions." he commented with a grunt.

I would _not _show him how much this hurt. I refused!

I shut my eyes as he drew his nails down my shoulder, I was sure he was leaving angry red marks. They stung as his tongue ran over them and his teeth brushed across.

I tried to occupy my thoughts with other things but he wouldn't let me. "Pay attention." his tone was dark and at a sudden change in position I was in pain. Blood fell from my lips as I forced myself to keep silent.

His free hand went to my hair and he grabbed a chunk before wrenching it backwards. I hissed as he laughed. Kisses were delivered to my neck and jaw; teeth teased and bit at the sensitive flesh but I refused to react.

Finally tiring of be gentle, if he could be called that, he finished with such force tears stung my eyes. It hurt yes, but it would never compare to the emotions of my first time....

"I thought for sure I could make you scream. Every other tough one has." he shrugged a shoulder and I didn't even want to think of how close I had been...

"Here's something extra. I was told you liked it." a brown bar with a green band was tossed at me. I swallowed sharply and forced myself to smirk and tear open the wrapper. Taking a bite with a loud _snap_ I realized with horror that I would probably never want chocolate again after this.

From the packaging it was very fine and expensive chocolate; it tasted like ash to me. Sliding off the bed despite my bodies' protests I quickly replaced my leather. I raised a hand in goodbye; neither seemed the type to care if I left now or not and it was proven when I was met with no response.

My hands clutched at the steering much harder than needed and I didn't have to check the time to know that it was late. Hopefully not _too_ late.

The main light was off when I walked inside and closed the door softly behind me. I checked around for Matt but all was silent save for the faint sounds of clicking coming from the bedroom.

He must have moved his laptop to the bed, I mused.

Creeping into the bathroom I prayed that Matt hadn't found my hidden clothing. Shutting the door I quickly stripped out of my soiled clothes and turned the water onto hot. I bit my abused lip to quiet a pained hiss.

Carefully washing my body I tried my best to ignore the forming bruises. When I was finally satisfied I moved onto my hair but I didn't expect soft hands to gently rub at my scalp.

My heart jumped to my throat. "M-matt!" he gave a small laugh. "Sorry I startled you." he kissed my neck in apology as I was still facing away.

_Oh god._

His hand traveled across my chest and I winced in pain as he touched a forming bruise. "Mel?" his voice was worried. His body tensed moments later. Please don't let him have seen-

"Mello. Out now, we need to talk." I shook silently as he moved away, stepping from the shower and leaving the room without even a towel.

Without further prompting I turned the shower off and quickly dried myself, dressed, and walked barefoot to the bedroom where I saw a flash of red hair.

"Matt...?" I asked hesitantly.

"Mello you promised me you would never do this again!" he yelled, his voice full of anguish.

My throat constricted and I hung my head. Matt didn't know his life was on the line, and maybe he shouldn't know. But if I didn't tell him, could our relationship survive? I didn't think I could take it if Matt left me.

"I know I did." my fingernails dug into my palms.

"Why? Why would you- just _why_?" he was looking at me now, I could feel his gaze.

"I can't answer that." I whispered without looking at him. I heard his sharp intake of breath and winced. I was hurting him just to save him. It almost didn't seem worth it.

"Get out; leave until you can give me an answer. Don't come back until then." I looked up sharply, Matt's eyes were glossy but he didn't shed a single tear. My heart clenched painfully but I couldn't tell him. We were so close to figuring out this mess and I knew he would split his attention too much if he knew he was next on the list; he would do needlessly stupid things.

So I did the only thing I could do. I complied with his demands. I left.

I packed my laptop and a few changes of clothes and _left_.

I drove to my favorite coffee shop back near where I used to live. My mind was blank. My emotions were numb. And somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this couldn't end well. I would have to call Jasper in a few hours to make sure that Matt was watched since I couldn't be seen near him or he would get suspicious.

Matt wouldn't think that Jasper had known. Or maybe he would. I didn't know anymore. My hands trembled around the coffee cup and I was thankful for the lid.

This case needed to get solved, and soon. If it didn't...I wasn't sure how much more Matt or I could take.

**-End _Only Scars_-**

**AN:** so how was this for a chapter? I bet you all though I would drag this part out till the end huh? Oh no no no no no, I have BIG plans. Heheheh.

**Special thanks to**: Sightlines, Eon Manic, MayKitty


	8. Chapter 7: Spilled Indigo

**Disclaimer**: I don't Own it, ok?????!

**AN**: Wow, k. My stuff is getting emo. Seriously. I think it's my playlist, I mean listen to the songs from this chapter and damn...

**Suggested Listening**: I Don't Wanna Know (If U Got Laid) **by** Cinema Bizarre**; **Rumored Nights **by **The Academy Is..**;** I Never Told You **by** Colbie Caillat

**Chapter Seven**:_ Spilled Indigo_

_~Matt~_

I barely felt the pain as the cigarette burnt down around my fingers. Snuffing it out I lit another one. Leaning back in the computer chair I tried to ignore the stifling silence of the apartment and the reason for the silence.

What was it about this case that made him do that? I knew damn well it had to do with the Detective Purge despite him not mentioning it. But _what_? He was hiding something, that much was glaringly obvious. But what?!

I couldn't, and wouldn't, believe that there wasn't a good reason. He hated feeling used. It hadn't been said in so many words since he didn't like to talk about it, but it tore him up inside. So what was so important, other than all the dead detectives, that he would start again?

I started on my eighth cigarette of the hour and rubbed my eyes. Were we just doomed from the start? Was there always going to be something pulling, tearing, us apart?

_Bzzzzz Bzzzzz Bzzzzz Bzz-_

"Hello?" I really hoped this was going to be a short conversation.

"Matt. It's Jasper..." he sounded as exhausted as I felt. So this was going to be bad news. Just fucking great.

"Did you happen to have a row with Mello by any chance?" he sounded hesitant, and at the mention of Mello my heart clenched painfully. "Yes I fucking did." I managed to say around taking a drag.

There was a muffled curse on the other line. "What was it about?"

I snorted. "I have a feeling that you know exactly what it's about."

"I highly doubt it with the two of you." was I wrong? I thought for sure Jasper would know... but if he didn't? No... no, Jasper had to have known. Mello, for as strong as he is, wouldn't have been able to handle this alone.

"You know damn well. What are you calling for?" I sighed. I didn't have the energy for this. I couldn't keep my attention on anything without thinking of Mello, and or the case. And yet they were both tied in somehow so everything went back to choice number one. Mello.

"Matt, have you tried to call Mello within the last hour or so?"

"No."

Jasper sighed heavily. "Then you probably wont be able to get a hold of him until the case is done."

My blood froze. "What? Why?"

"Whatever happened... he is not taking it very well. Or at least that's what I think by how... calm he sounded when he called me. He was too calm. Our fight last night was about you and him. I haven't seen him keep anything down in days..."

He sounded frustrated, whether at himself or Mello, I couldn't tell.

"I told him I wasn't helping him anymore. He's on his own right now and-" I left my cigarette in the ash tray and shifted the cell phone to my other ear. "-he isn't answering any of my calls anymore. They all go to voice mail..."

My mouth felt dry.

"What else. I know there is something else." his tone suggested something far bigger than their fight about Mello _activities_.

"I was asked not to tell you this... but I'm going to anyway." there was a short, dry laugh. "He asked me to watch you, to make sure you didn't get into any trouble. Which means he has something planned and... And you're right, there is something else. More than that at any rate."

I took a deep breath.

"You would have figured this out sooner or later, and I know Mello will probably kill me if he knew I told you, but he found something disturbing in your e-mail around a week ago." I stared at the smoke that swirled away from the burning ash and closed my eyes.

"How much time have I got left?" I asked as calmly as I could.

"Just under fourteen days." so there it was. The entire reason for Mello's actions. Why was it, that _everything_ bad happening to him, had something to do with me?

"Why didn't he tell me?" I didn't even know I had spoken that thought aloud until Jasper gave me an answer.

"He didn't want your concentration split. He didn't want you stressed. Funny how you ended up there anyway."

"Yeah. Hilarious."

"I'm going to let you go now. But I will be checking in on you. I owe Mello that much for abandoning him at the eleventh hour..." he hung up at that leaving me with the dial tone.

I stared at the dying cigarette for a long time sorting out my thoughts.

If the case wasn't solved within the next two weeks, I was probably dead. Mello had known about it and was doing something that hurt him in order to obtain information. And now... Mello was god knows where without _any _help.

The last thought stilled me. No help... it clicked. Why he had acted so strange when I was watching the video L sent me. The corrupted part of the video had to have been about me. L knew.

And if L knew, maybe he had answers we didn't. If we were lucky, none of us would die.

"Mello you idiot..."

I dialed L's number and waited. It seemed that was all I could do right now. Wait.

**-End _Spilled Indigo_-**

**AN:** I told you Matt's chapters were going to get small. I have a very good reason for it, but I can't tell you without spoiling some of the plot. I'll leave you to wonder about that, but I will tell you that later on Matt's chapters will be bigger. Later. _Much_ later. Lol.

**Special thanks to reviewers**: Rin, Sightlines, cutmeawayMYPENMYHAND, Possesed4evr


	9. Chapter 8: Fevered Melody

**Disclaimer:** I don't OWN it at ALL, ok?!

**AN**: About this chapter.... It doesn't start immediately after Mello leaves, just a forewarning. ALSO I didn't have time to go over this more than once due to... family _issues_... so there are probably errors in this but I figured you'd want the chapter out. Otherwise I would have been posting tomorrow, as I am probably going to do with Silent Dance.

**Suggested Listening** : Leaving Only Scars **by **Systematic**; **Breath Underwater **by** Placebo**; **Prayer **by **Mankind is Obsolete (very emotional song, or at least it was for me and I used it to write...)

**Chapter Eight**: _Fevered Melody_

_~Mello~ _

I got up from my seat outside the junky cafe and headed down the street towards my next destination. I needed to keep going, I needed to keep busy because if I didn't...

My pocket vibrated so I pulled out the offending object.

_-Got you a place, we've even. Check e-mail- A_

I sighed. I was now out of favors and out of allies. This case had taxed everything I had... But at least now I wouldn't have to deal with Amber any longer, the only reason I still had her number was for the favor she owed me.

I now had a place to stay for the next two weeks, because I wouldn't need it after that. Either the case would be solved and I could talk to Matt or the case wouldn't be solved in which case I wouldn't need it any more either...

I couldn't use my normal means for getting an apartment since both Matt and Jasper knew my aliases; and it wouldn't be hard for Matt to figure out any new ones I made, he knew me too well. I had no doubt that despite what both of them said they would be looking for me.

However, it may have been for the best that I was gone.

I would no longer have to hide anything from Matt and I could concentrate fully on the case. The flipside was, I wouldn't be able to know if he were safe. I also had less resources... but I had been in worse situations. I wasn't a fourteen year old genius with no money to his _name_.

I may not have much money this time around either, but I had enough to buy what I wanted. Or ways of getting more...

Turning the corner I walked into a run down looking store with thick metal bars looming in the windows.

The man at the counter looked up and immediately paled; the last time I had been here I hadn't left him in such a good state. Such is the mafia. "M-michael! What brings you here?" his voice hitched only in the beginning and he gave no other signs of surprise or fear.

"I need to have a look at what you've got for audio and video surveillance." I carefully slid my hand into my jacket and he visibly relaxed when I only pulled out a chocolate bar. "What do you need stuff like that for?"

I narrowed my eyes and stared coldly at him. "You know better than to ask questions like that." my voice was calm which made him jumpy. What you learn in the mafia stays with you, always.

"It's in the back, you know the way." he pointed to the far end of the store to a cracked wooden door. I did know the way. I had left him lying there half dead last time.

The door still squeaked as it opened and slammed shut behind me in the eerie quiet. The back room was mainly used for storage as well as shady dealings. Not that the entire store wasn't shady. I quickly browsed the shelves until I found what I was looking for.

I may not have been even half as good as Matt was at this stuff but I knew enough to find what I needed. I grabbed one mini wireless camera, as well as a few audio bugs. They weren't too great on the distance but considering my limited time it would do.

I left the larger ones sitting on the shelf as they would attract too much attention and defeat the purpose. I also nabbed a pinhole camera. I didn't need much more than this as the surveillance was a long shot and mainly to pass the time until Takahashi got around to his end of the deal.

"So Paul, how much for all this?" as though he were afraid of someone listening in, which was more than slightly amusing considering the situation, he scribbled a number on a scrap piece of paper. Ouch. That was probably what Matt made on a crappy hack job. I shoved any connecting thoughts of him to the back of my mind, now was _not _the time for this.

I had expected a high number, and I hadn't been disappointed.

Taking out a roll of money, all saved over the last few months, I handed most of it to him.

"Pleasure doing business with you." his smile came as more of a grimace but I decided I didn't care. Smiling back, he looked at me like I was the devil, I placed my purchases securely in my pocket. Turning on heal I was once again out the doors.

During the short walk back to my bike, which was across the street from the cafe, I ran over the minute details of my plan. It wasn't anything big as I wasn't expecting much if _any _results from it. Mainly it involved me going to a bar and conveniently leaving the bugs by a certain table.

Now, here was why I doubted I would get any real data from it. Matt's friend stated they only came around after a murder, and there haven't been any new ones yet. And there was no way to know if they had one planned before... before Matt's.

With a frown I hopped on my motorcycle and took off for the bar. It hadn't been hard to find out what bar it was, and the directions for it. In the picture, though it was of poor quality, the wall in the background was easily seen.

All I had to do was ask around and someone recognized the decorations. It was aparently the _only_ bar that had a stuffed red panda bear holding a beer bottle next to a picture of a vineyard. I doubted that many bars would have a stuffed panda either...

Using my memory, once I was in the bar, I selected the table just behind the one from the picture.

"Hi, my name is Samantha, what can I get you?"

I didn't really want anything but ordered a beer anyway; my main purpose was to set up the bugs. "OK, I'll be right back." she batted her lashes and I forced myself not to glare at her.

Making sure no one was watching I made use of the fake plants to hide one of the microphones. I hid another one on the wall shelf; it was so cluttered with things that one more thing, the pinhole camera in this case, wouldn't be noticed.

"Here you are. Enjoy." the brown eyed woman swayed her hips and smiled but left me alone afterwards. Rubbing my tired eyes I sighed heavily while eyeing the beer. Shaking my head I picked it up and took a swig.

It was rather bitter in taste, but certainly better than some of the things I had tried. I leaned back in the chair and took in my surroundings. The place was packed with people despite it being rather early in the afternoon on a Wednesday. Some were eating, most were drinking.

The lighting in some areas didn't make for good video coverage, though the loud noises of the bar would also give the audio some trouble. I wasn't too worried; I had some of Matt's programs on my computer.

Matt. My gloved hand gripped the beer bottle harshly and hung my head. I missed him.

Taking a long drink of beer I managed to force my unwanted thoughts back. I had to keep going. His time was getting shorter by the minute and I couldn't afford to dwell on how far away he felt at the moment.

I left money on the table and stood up. With the way things were set up I was able to quickly place one more of each surveillance bug right by the table. Though I was taking a chance of them being discovered. Besides the fact that the chances of the group even coming here within the next week and a half were less than five percent.

Once outside again, the air chilly, I used my phone to check my e-mail. Amanda had sent me the address of my new place, it wasn't so far that the surveillance stuff wouldn't work from my laptop.

The drive there was short and getting the key from the balding landlord even shorter. I locked the door and even latched the deadbolt once inside though I doubted it would do much good if someone really wanted in.

I numbly set my box of stuff on the table and pulled only my laptop and a bar of chocolate out. Nothing new was in my inbox. And although it didn't go as smooth as something Matt could set up, I got the surveillance up and set it to record.

I could do nothing until I got more information. I would have to trust that Takahashi got it to me in time, and hope that it was useful.

Sighing I looked through my phone instead. I had forty-three missed calls and seventeen new messages. I deleted all of them. Including the one from L. He had to know what I was doing now and I honestly didn't feel like dealing with a lecture right now. He knew that anything important should go to my e-mail.

I wouldn't even delete anything from Near at this point.

I closed my eyes tightly as the letters on the screen blurred before me. Pinching the bridge of my nose I sucked in a deep breath and exhaled. I waited a few minutes before blinking away spots from my vision.

Tiredly I snapped off a piece of chocolate and let it begin to melt in my mouth. It tasted disgusting. Swallowing it quickly I instantly regretted the decision as bile rose in my throat.

I barely made it to the bathroom before emptying the contents of my stomach into the sink. Forearms resting heavily on the counter and my forehead cradled in my hands I stayed hunched over the sink for some time.

Pealing off a glove I splashed some water into my mouth to get ride of the foul taste. My stomach lurched and for a few horrible minutes I thought I was going to be sick again. The nausea was almost worse then throwing up.

I managed to grab the laptop and bring it to the bedroom, a poor excuse for a bedroom, where I curled up on top of the sheet and watched the video surveillance. As expected there was absolutely nothing of value happening other than the way people made fools of themselves when drinking.

Once I deemed myself able, I wandered into the small kitchen, which was really no bigger than the bathroom, and rifled through my box. The one that was essentially my suitcase. My fingers curled viciously around a packet of instant coffee but I managed not to crush it. I may hate that shit, but it was the only form of coffee I had at the moment.

And it was the only way I'd be able to get chocolate into my system, which at this point was better than nothing. With a mirthless laugh I dug out the coffee cup Matt had gotten made for me. I had thought it was stupid when he first gave it to me, I still did.

_Grumpy till sunrise, Pissy till midnight, Sexy all the time ~_^_

I filled it with water, stuck the coffee bag inside and put it in the microwave for two minutes. Afterwards I dumped two bars of chocolate into the hot liquid and took a sip. It was a bit sweeter than I usually like it but I needed the energy.

Going through the box I took out all items except my clothing. I was surprised to find that a can of soup had gotten mixed in with the instant coffee I had tossed in there. It was a pop top so I wouldn't need a can opener...

"Not a good idea." I mumbled to myself. And yet against my better judgment I made the soup inside my coffee mug once I had finished.

I stared dubiously at the bowl of soup before me. Logically I knew I had to eat. But logically I also knew I wouldn't be able to keep it down for long, if at all.

"Oh fuck it." I forced myself to swallow a few spoonfuls of the broth, and after a few moments with nothing happening, a few more with the vegetables on it. The moment I got the actual food portion down I knew it had been a royally stupid idea.

Within seconds I was kneeling beside the trashcan. My stomach muscles clenched making me dry heave long after the actual food was gone from my system. Tears prickled at the corner of my eyes and I gasped for breath and fought to control the urge to gag.

"I'm killing myself, it's just like before... fuck!" I spat into the trashcan and resolved to just sit there for the time being. My hands were clenched in anger and I could feel my nails cutting into the flesh of my palms; but I just didn't care.

I _needed_ to be in top shape for this case. One couldn't even hope to take on people of this caliber while living off of coffee and _sometimes_ chocolate. I knew this. But I just _couldn't_ eat.

And the main difference this time, I didn't have anyone around to catch me when I fell. Every time I moved my stomach churned painfully so I spent the night on the kitchen floor.

With a complete lack of enthusiasm I stood from my impromptu bed at the first sign of dawn. I even managed a cup of coffee. I didn't bother with the soup again.

There was nothing in my inbox again and I was passed frustrated and back into worry. Matt's days were so few and yet there was still no new information.

The next day and a half went in the same manner; drink coffee, worry, watch video feeds, worry, check e-mail and repeat. When an e-mail finally did appear in my inbox nearly five days after my fight with Matt, I nearly spat my coffee over the keyboard.

My eyes widened at the length of the attached document. Takahashi had certainly dug up something interesting. I skipped the part about where he obtained the stuff from; I would look at that later. All I cared about was finding a lead.

It appeared that the top three assassins in the group, hitmen if you'd like a better word, ran the show. They answered to no one and no one dared disagree with them. So in essence, if they were taken out the Organization would crumble. Or at least be in enough chaos for someone with L's resources to pick them off.

That was interesting, not very helpful, but interesting.

"So other people noticed the correlation between them gathering at the bar and the murders..."

And it wasn't a one time thing, or rather, they appeared to do a similar thing in each area they concentrated their killings on.

Apparently Takahashi's source had spoken with a former member of The Organization and he had spilled some valuable secrets before he was silenced, permanently.

They had apparently started off as a small group of Kira followers, people who believed that 'Justice is corrupt, ergo, Justice must be reinvented'. Their small group soon became a larger group and that was when things got out of order.

Some of the people joining were just as bad as the criminals on the street, but they had valid arguments and soon became the voice of the Organization. They twisted the thoughts and ideals of the members into something darker.

To them, in order to 'reinvent' justice, they had to destroy it. Get rid of everything corrupt. Those first on the list were the detectives, 'who were corrupt and corrupted the justice they supposedly stood for'. The group had gone from simple fanatics to something far more dangerous in just a few years.

This had been building for quite some time. And if I thought on it, the case that first brought me back to Matt might have had a small tie in with this. Mikami Teru had worshiped Kira, and I had speculated that he couldn't have pulled off the murders on his own despite his intelligence.

The fact that it happened just over a year before the Detective Purge made me think it was more than far fetched. But if that were true then they would have already figured out where two well know detectives were, and about Wammys. So far, other than 'J' it didn't appear they knew anything. I was probably over thinking things. Either way it wasn't relevant to what was going on now unless it would lead me to them.

There was also talk about the Organization HQ, but not much. Mainly that since their group wasn't _too_ large at the moment, they didn't require a large place to stay, but that they frequently moved around to different places to stay hidden.

It was also stated that even though drawing attention was frowned upon the top three did as they pleased, within reason. Meaning that checking out all major hotels, or not so ratty ones, near the bar was a good idea rather then hopelessly searching the entire city.

This was the best information I could have gotten, and it still left me with a few days to search. My shoulders slumped. Would there be enough time if it was just me searching? And if I was wrong about the location or the type of place...

I couldn't chance it. If it were just me then fine, a little danger hasn't killed me yet. But I wouldn't do it with Matt's life.

Gripping my phone tightly I dialed L's number.

"Mello, are you alright?" L's voice was blank, void of most emotions though I did hear curiosity.

"I'm fine. I am sending you stuff, tell me what you already know." I attached the file to a separate e-mail and sent it to L. There were soft clicking sounds on the other end and all was silent for a moment.

"This is good information Mello. Near and I do have some of it, but not all." that was a nice way of not answering my question and not telling me a _damn_ thing.

"I'm going to check out hotels near the bar 'The Central'. I would... appreciate it if I could have some help. If I'm wrong-"

"You are not wrong. Just worried." I grit my teeth in annoyance.

"I already have Near sending out a few people. They will be checking outside of that area before closing in; just on the off chance that you are wrong."

"Thank you-"

"Mello, Matt called me the other day, he is worried that you will do something stupid. And after hearing what you have been doing to get the information, I fear that you are already doing something stupid. Can you still eat food?"

I closed my eyes and forced away the rage I was feeling.

"Mind your own damn business L." I closed the phone but placed it gently on the bed instead of throwing it like I wanted. I took a few deep breathes and it helped to calm me somewhat. I didn't have the energy to be truly angry.

If I had to go against one of the three right now I would be easily killed. My body needed food to function properly and I couldn't provide it without making myself sick, which ultimatly defeated the purpose.

I would have to find some way to get food into my system, or when the time came, I would fail Matt.

_-**End Fevered Melody**-_

**AN**: This chapter came out better than I expected.... really.

**Special thanks to reviewers:** Rin, Sighlines, Possessed4evr


	10. Chapter 9: The Quiet

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note, k?

**AN 2010**: Nothing much really.... just fixed a few errors. I don't need to make too many changes. Its just the minor details that end up being major......

**Suggested Listening**: Degausser **by** Brand New**; **Under The Gun **by** The Killers

**Chapter Nine**_: The Quiet_

_~Matt~_

I was a complete fucking _idiot_.

I shouldn't have told Mello to leave. Especially with how he gets after... I shouldn't have _forgotten_. I still had the fucking files that I had dug up on him!

_L _had to remind me of it.

Mello wasn't answering his mobile, had no place to go, no one to turn to in his eyes, and hasn't really been eating anything for the past few days.

I should have noticed. I had seen the signs before with the previous case.

My cigarette dangled from my mouth as I typed furiously on my laptop. There had to be some way to find him. An alias, a sighting of him, something. But there wasn't. It was like he had dropped off the fucking face of the earth...

or like he had di-

I wasn't even going to think about that. Mello wasn't weak. And if he knew he was getting to his breaking point he wouldn't endanger himself because he was doing this for me; or so L said.

He had his gun, and his smarts. He would be fine...

And although L didn't say it, he was looking for Mello too. Mello hadn't contacted him at all so it was doubtful he had even looked at his messages, or he had deleted them. I'd almost be happy if he didn't listen to them. I hadn't exactly been calm when I sent half of them.

Under two weeks to live and Mello was out there doing god knows what to save me. I didn't fucking deserve him.

I needed a gun.

It wouldn't due to have Mello go through all of this just for me to get killed because I didn't like guns. Mello was the only one of us who owned one...

I balanced my phone between my ear and shoulder so I could still type as it connected. "Find anything J?" again with that irritating name, the name that started all of this.

"Can you get me a gun?"

"Are you going to shoot yourself or Mello with it?" I actually stopped typing. What the fu-

"No."

"I'll bring one over later then. I'm supposed to be watching you anyway. It's not like you leave the house..."

"Fine, see you later." it was disturbingly easy to get the gun. Was this how Mello got his? Or had he gone to a shop, no I doubted he had a permit for it detective or not.

My thoughts had been pulling me in the oddest directions for the last few hours. I hadn't slept or even left the computer for... I'm not even sure how long. The overflowing ashtray attested to that.

I pulled my hands away from the keys and pushed away from the computer a little. I made the mistake of rubbing my eyes and only saw spots when I removed my fingers.

I had to slow down. I was going to dig myself into a hole and not be able to get out when the shit hit the fan. Pushing the laptop to the side I folded my arms in the vacant spot and rested my head on top.

I was losing it.

And if I was losing it then Mello had probably pushed it all to the back of his mind. He would let everything build up again until he couldn't take it and then everything would crumble. We made such a pair, the two of us.

I bit my lip and forced myself to keep calm. I needed sleep, not twenty-four seven non stop thinking. Which was all my mind had been doing since Mello left... or was it since Jasper called me?

Squeezing my eyes shut I concentrated on the annoying ticking of the clock. It was the only thing I heard in my sleep.

_**-End Chapter 9- **_

**AN:** Aww. Matt's starting to break under the pressure. Things had been steadily spiraling out of control for the past few months (for the both of them) due to the Detective Purge, and now Matt is at the end of his tether. Just felt like stating that....

I know this is short. But as I said, Matt's chapters would be short. At least I make up for it with Mello's chapters, right?

And I know Matt's chapters are mostly little clips of what's happening to him, but there really isn't much happening on Matt's end, but I do feel the need to write him. Otherwise we wouldn't know he was slowly descending into madness... Jk. lol

**Special thanks to reviewers** (cuz people who don't review suck ^_^… unless your pc is evil or is being an ass) : Sightlines, Posessed4evr


	11. Chapter 10: Timless Lullaby

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note

**AN**: This chapter was a bitch to write.... um... this chapter is rated for Mello's potty mouth... heh.

**Suggested Listening**: Late Night Lullaby **by **Papercut Massacre**; **Millstone **by **Brand New

**Chapter Ten**: _Timeless Lullaby_

_~Mello~ _

My hands groped at the walls to steady myself. I only had a few more feet to go, then I could pass out if I needed to. My vision swam before me, my legs shaking with every step they took. Unlocking the door I just made it inside before collapsing to the floor and throwing up.

Kicking the door shut I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes; I didn't dare try to stand yet. My breathing was ragged and stomach muscles clenched painfully. How in the hell had I let myself get to this state?

Chancing it, I cracked open my eyes and stared at the plastic bag I had been clutching the entire time. I sighed. The contents made me feel like a junkie, though it was farthest from the truth.

I was now broke, but I didn't owe any_ favors_ because of it. And now I wouldn't be waiting to drop dead like before.

I couldn't wait any longer to refrigerate the stuff in the bag and forced myself to my feet. This time I didn't need the wall.

I only kept the necessary items out and placed the rest in the fridge and on the counter beside it. I had used my savings but wasn't worried.

I carried the items into the bedroom and tossed my jacket to the side. Propping the pillows up I sat on the bed and used a sterilizing wipe to clean the underside of my arm right over the only noticeable vein. Carefully I inserted the needle into the vein and taped it in place.

Setting the IV bag to hang on the headboard I laid down. I looked at my arm distastefully. This was the only way to get anything into my system quickly and have me in good condition for the remainder of the case. Total Parenteral Nutrition.

"Wish I had known about this before... would have saved me a lot of trouble." I grumbled.

I was lucky I had been able to get a hold of those IV bags, despite how much it cost. Extra since proteins and fats had to be added to the solution in addition to everything else. But it was worth it if I could walk around without almost blacking out or throwing up.

I really had let it get bad.

Closing my eyes I was at least happy that Matt couldn't see me like this.

-

It took me more than a day to get back to a working level, far longer then I had wanted. Too long. Matt had _less than_ a week left and I was spending parts of it hooked up to a fucking IV.

But I felt _better_.

I still couldn't eat anything, but now I didn't need to. If needed, I could survive like this for quite some time. But after this case was over... after all this was over, I would stop. It would be too much like feeding an addiction, at least in my mind, if I continued like this.

Two days left. That was it. All the time was eaten up and now I had to deal with a _very_ short deadline. I really had to wonder just how much effort L was putting into the search, because I knew that if he was serious about this, instead of using Matt as fucking _bait_, all of the hotels probably could have been checked already.

I was finally able to leave that hell hole of an apartment. I started with five hotels that were within walking district to the bar. Two were three stars, one of them a five star and the last two were four stars. I didn't hold out much hope for the four or five star hotels, and had been correct when nothing new came up.

The last two were neither posh nor were they run down.

The first one, while it held no vacancies, didn't have anyone fitting the descriptions. And I couldn't really give them a photograph; even if I were to print it out their attire would raise questions I didn't want to answer.

I had slightly better luck with the second hotel.

The receptionist was a young woman, whereas at the other one it had been a man. Walking up to the desk I leaned on my forearms and watched as she blushed. I really hated doing this.

"Hi, I'm looking for my cousin. She has blonde hair like mine, and she would be with two guys. They would look like the older brother type, or even body guards. Have you seen anyone like that by any chance?"

She bit her lip and tapped her chin. I suppose if I were straight I might have found that action cute. "Um. If I am remembering correctly, about three days ago I think I saw a group matching that."

"But they checked out, which is the only reason I remember them." she smiled apologetically.

"Thank you very much." I smiled at her and she bowed her head, blushing again. Turning, I left the hotel. At least it seemed my theory was correct; for the moment.

It was getting dark already; per usually with the time of year. As much as I wanted to keep searching, it was best if I didn't at night. I still wasn't in the best of shape, and two days of IV couldn't really get rid of all the damage I had caused before that. I needed to speak with L at any rate. Perhaps he was having better luck.

Or better yet he had decided to do more than search halfheartedly. Wouldn't that be nice?

That thought struck a bitter chord with me. He had many more resources, and he was merely the puppeteer pulling the strings. A mere call from him can get the police on watch around here.

Though by the looks of it, he hadn't even _tried _to do that yet.

And yet all I could do was search aimlessly in this small area and hope I stumbled upon something. It was sickening.

The apartment was dark when I got back, but I was getting used to that now. The lights had always been on when I was with...

Sighing I started a cup of water in the microwave for the instant coffee.

Sitting down heavily on the hard mattress I pulled out my phone. It was picked up after the third ring.

"Mello." I had been expecting L's voice but was greeted with Near's.

"Near." I grit out.

"What has Mello called for?" his voice was soft but emotionless; I could practically see him playing with his hair as he held the phone in his awkward way.

"Have you gotten any leads from searching the hotels outside of my area?" In a way I was hoping not, then it would mean the assassins were sticking to a smaller area, and a small part of me wanted it to be me to help Matt. Me, Mello, who didn't have all those fancy resources to waste.

"No. But we have not finished our search either." I sneered at him though he couldn't see it.

"I found a possible lead. It depends on whether or not the receptionist is credible in her account." Near was silent for a moment and I almost disconnected then just to get my coffee.

"I have something interesting that Mello might want to know." I could hear the smirk in his voice. That albino basta-

"What?" I ground out, trying not to lose my patience with him. I may have been irritated at L, but this reminded me of why I didn't deal with Near. At _all_.

"Matt is leaving the apartment to look for things rather then attempt to hack the information." I clutched the phone tighter and my heart sank. He was leaving the relative safety of the apartment to... get information? Then he must know...

He wouldn't have had to leave if I had been there... He wouldn't have known...

If they decided to strike earlier… What if that was their plan the entire time? They tell you one date but attack on another-

"Hm. If Mello had not made so many mistakes perhaps Mello would still be watching over Matt instead of relying on L and I for news?" I could hear L say something in the background but I didn't care.

I hung up and threw the phone across the bed. How dare he!

"Bastard!" I growled. How dare he... speak the truth... Hunching over I ignored the vibrating phone. I hated him so much.

"Matt..." I had to have been over thinking things. They wouldn't go after him any earlier then the end of the three weeks. I couldn't drive myself crazy thinking about what if's when I wasn't positive they could happen.

Matt was in so much fucking trouble when I get back. "Fucking idiot." my hand rested at my rosary. How dare he put himself in more danger... My phone vibrated again. Glancing at it, it was L. I scoffed.

Like. Fucking. Hell. I was going to pick up after that wanker pissed me off. I doubted they had discovered anything _that_ important after two minutes. "Fuck you." I growled at the phone before getting up to get my coffee.

I dumped my last bar of chocolate into the cup and watched as it slowly melted into a tar like substance until I stirred the spoon.

My phone continued to vibrate, and though I couldn't see it from the kitchen, I shot it a dirty look.

I stood in the kitchen for a few minutes, letting the coffee calm me, before I moved back to the bedroom.

Sitting crossed legged in front of the computer I ran through the list of hotels left. There were far to many. I would never be able to check them all in one day. I decided to create a new list.

"Why the _fuck_ is there so many hotels in one area...?" I sighed and took another sip of coffee. I looked at where the one possible sighting of them had been and decided to base my list in that general radius.

Though there were still plenty of hotels there. It was a tourist spot.

Scrolling through Google I was able to get directions to all of the hotels. I hadn't even heard of some of those streets...

Glancing down at the time it read quarter till ten. It was early, but I had a long day ahead of me. Everything was written down and prepared for tomorrow. If it came down to it I would stop searching and just go to Matt...

If they were going to kill him, the least I could do was make sure it wasn't easy for them. Rubbing my tired eyes I shook those thoughts away. It sounded like I had already given up.

I shut down the laptop and turned off the lights. I curled up on the bed and wished that tomorrow didn't have to come.

-

The moment I woke up in that dark room was the moment my day started. I quickly dressed myself, grabbed the list, my keys and was out the door before I had even had coffee.

I yawned widely as my motorcycle roared to life.

I had almost eleven hotels to check out today. Today, the _last _day. I didn't care how early it was; I was going to need every minute of this day. I just had to hope that they decided to go after Matt later on rather then early in the morning.

Many of the hotels I checked wouldn't answer my questions properly, even when I showed them that I was a private detective. Those were mainly the high scale hotels, with those arrogant rich bastards who could care less if someone died outside their own hotel room.

Nearly halfway down the list and not a damn thing to show for it.

It was absurdly hard to get anything from the receptionists. Policy this and policy that. Fuck your stupid policy.

I grabbed a coffee on the way to the seventh hotel. I hadn't eaten anything today, nor had I had the time to hook up the IV so I was a little low on stamina. Not that adding coffee to my system was really going to help.

Two more misses, but at least they had cooperated. It was already late afternoon...

One of the last ones on the list, a rather posh four and a half star hotel, stood looming over me. Shaking off the almost burning cold I stepped inside and headed straight for the reception desk as I had all the previous ones.

The woman at the desk was middle aged with a stern expression. Charming her wouldn't work. And most hotels didn't like giving out any personal information about their guests. Or so three other hotels today had told me. Fuckers.

"Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me?" I made my tone sad but hopeful. The receptionist looked warily at me. But nodded that she was listening. "I'm looking for my sister. She is around five-four, with blonde hair-"

"As our policy we cannot give out personal information-"

"I've heard that at half of the other hotels too. Please! She's in some real trouble." the pained expression had nothing to do with acting, it had just crossed my mind once again that I was running out of time... or that I might already have.

"After my accident..." I carefully tilted my head so that my scar could be seen through my hair; the woman put a hand to her mouth in a silent gasp. "After the accident, she got in with a bad crowd. We all tried hard to get her away from them but she just pulled away. Then she left with them, two men."

"I don't know if she is still with them, or if they met up with more people... But my mother and I are both very worried about her. We haven't heard anything from her in a while..." I hung my head to add to the total effect.

I almost felt bad for lying to this woman, her expression had softened and it showed that she had a good heart, but this was to catch criminals and save Matt. But I couldn't tell her the real story, she would never believe it.

"Oh my... I really shouldn't..." her lips were pressed thin and her eyes were slightly moist.

"We do have a young woman here, with two older men accompanying her. I really... here take this." she said the last part quietly and I was a little more than surprised to find the keycard to the room in her hand. Or what I assumed was the room.

"Thank you so much, you have no idea what this means to me. I will get my sister back!" I carried on with the lie and gently took the card from her.

"Good luck." the room number was printed in bold letters across the top of the keycard so I didn't need to ask. I inclined my head with a thankful smile that turned into a smirk the moment I was out of her view.

The room was on the top floor and somewhere in the middle. The entire hotel was very nice; a place that people like them shouldn't be staying if they wanted to keep hidden. Keeping in mind the camera's, I waited until I had slid the keycard in before pulling out my gun.

I slid the door open and for a sickening moment I thought they were waiting for me to step into the darkened room. But they weren't there. Which was, in a way, a relief.

Flipping the light switch, after the door was shut, I was assaulted with the sight of various exposed weapons. "What the hell?"

There were a few knives, a hand gun and even a throwing star or two, all littering the beds. If the cleaning staff had walked in...

Everything else was completely neat in appearance. Notebooks stacked neatly atop one another, pens arranged by color as well as size, even the beds were made. But they weren't there. They should have been there, unless...

"Shit!"

I couldn't be sure, and if I was wrong then not only Matt, but myself and Jasper could be killed. And L would be none the wiser for a few days.

I began to quickly search through the notebooks until a small notepad fell to the floor. Picking it up my eyes widened. It was _everything_ Matt had done in the last three weeks, ever since I had found that cursed e-mail.

It didn't have much of anything on me, so they hadn't been following anyone around him, just him. Where he went, how long he spent in the apartment normally, who he had been meeting in the last few days... It was his entire schedule in a nutshell.

"No.."

And _when_ they were going to kill him. Glancing at the clock I felt fear rip through me. He only had half an hour!

I called Jasper as I ran from the room; I didn't bother to lock it or even put anything back in place.

"Mello where-"

"Jasper shut the fuck up. Matt only has a half hour before they kill him. Do_ not_ let him out of your sight!" I took the stairs two at a time as the elevator had taken too long to come.

"Where the hell did you get this information? Can it b-"

"This isn't the time for an interrogation. You can be a bastard about this later but for now just protect him!" I hurried out the main doors and didn't care if anyone was watching. I ended the call but kept the phone in my hand and quickly started my bike. I sped down the busy streets as the next call connected and was picked up almost immediately.

"Mello, thank god." Matt's voice was relieved and I knew it wouldn't be for long. "I'm sorry I told you to leave, look can you just come back...?" I bit my lip and willed my emotions to behave.

"Matt you have to get out of there, they are coming for you right now!" I heard a sharp intake of breath and things being tossed around on the other end. I heard his keys jingle and almost let out a sigh of relief.

"Go to Jasper's, or call him and meet somewhere-" I yelled to him, he shouldn't know that Jasper was nearby.

_crash_

"Fuck!" Matt yelled and then a gunshot rang out. The phone hit the floor and the call was disconnected. I was left with a dial tone.

**-End _Timeless Lullaby_-**

**AN: **Yay, another cliffhanger! Have you noticed that I seem to like these? And so we are nearing the climax..... ohhhh. I absolutely love the next chapter. Hahaha.

**Special thanks to my reviewers**: Sightlines, Possessed4evr, Rin


	12. Chapter 11: Captive Audience

**Disclaimer:** I don't own it, ok? geeze........

**AN**: Well I'm not really too sure what to say about this chapter....

**Suggested Listening**: Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades **by **Brand New

**Chapter Eleven:** _Captive Audience _

_~Matt~_

Loud vibrations startled me from my frantic skimming of text. Looking at the caller id it was.. Mello!

"Mello, thank god." I sighed into the receiver. Neither Jasper or myself had heard from him since I had kicked him out. "I'm sorry I told you to leave, look can you just come back...?" I asked hesitantly.

It was purely selfish on my part. He really shouldn't be anywhere near me at the moment.

"Matt you have to get out of there, they are coming for you right now!" I sucked in a breath and leapt from the chair. I tossed aside papers and old coffee cups and found my gun. Running into the kitchen I grabbed my keys.

"Go to Jasper's, or call him and meet somewhere-"

_crash_

The door flew back on its hinges and cracked against the wall.

"Fuck!" I yelled and darted to the side as one of the three rushed me. They caught one of my arms and pinned it behind my back. I had one shot at this, and only one. I took the gun they hadn't yet seen and shot in the direction of my captors head.

The phone slipped from my grip and snapped on the floor.

All at once I was face down on the floor with a knee digging into my back. "Damn." I hissed and I felt handcuffs being placed on me.

"Well, I always said that his stupidity would be the end of him." a harsh female voice rang out. I chanced a look up and confirmed that this was the woman from the photographs. Well, as if the fact that I was currently being pinned to my own floor with a gun staring me in the face hadn't been enough of a confirmation.

"Hm. You're kind of cute. Oh well." the blonde shrugged her shoulders and motioned with her hands to the man holding me down. I was then dragged into a standing position and marched over to my computer chair and forced to sit.

Another pair of cuffs was used to secure me to the chair. They apparently didn't need to bind my legs; I guess they figured I wouldn't be getting out. Testing the cuffs, I had to agree with them.

The blonde's eyes were cold and gleamed down at me dangerously. Her gloved hand ran down my cheek making me flinch. She giggled. "Set up the camera." she called to the man. I swallowed thickly as a tripod was set up and the camera turned on.

"Will you repent your sins, J?" I stared defiantly at her but she seemed bored. I was backhanded across the face, I could feel my lip split and blood dripped down my chin. Her ring had caught and tore at the skin.

"Oops, looks like I drew blood too quickly. You have destroyed justice, will you repent?" to me she sounded like a broken record, but I refused to answer.

"You know, everyone started out this way, but all of them ended up begging. Yet none of them were spared, do you know why?" I stared at the knife that had been handed to her and shook my head. Pain, sharp and twisting, as she lowered the knife across my neck.

"Careful, don't want to kill you yet." she tutted. The cold metal was slid across my cheek but only at the end did she dig it into my flesh, and when I tried to move my head away the other man held my head.

"Fuck you." I spat blood at her.

_I'm sorry Mello... _

"That wasn't nice." the knife cut into my other cheek.

_I should have spent the last few days with you._

"Will you repent?" the man boomed from behind me.

_I love you._

"No." I closed my eyes, begging obviously didn't work for these sick bastards. And if Mello ever had to watch this video, I didn't want him to see me break.

The knife that had been sliding across my shoulder stopped at the sound of a motorcycle screeching to a halt outside. I looked sharply at the window and sure enough headlights had just been turned off.

"Oh, looks like we have some company." the man walked away from me and hid behind the door. I was about to shout when a gloved hand was placed firmly over my mouth.

Fear swelled in my heart, but not for me.

I could hear the footsteps stop just outside the door. The knob turned and the door swung gently inward for a moment before a boot clad foot kicked it. The man behind the door was struck instantly and thrown off balance.

Mello was here.

_**-End Captive Audience-**_

**AN**: So.... how was this to hold you all off? Hahaha, Next chapter is the last besides the epilogue. :)

**Special thanks to my reviewers**: cutmeawayMYPENMYHAND, Aiyori-chan, Maykitty


	13. Chapter 12: Furious Angels

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note

**AN**: Ohhhh what a chapter this will be... hmm... who shall live and who shall die? Hehehehe. I do love my mind sometimes.

**Suggested Listening**: I'm Not an Angel **by** Halestorm**;** Not an Angel **by **City Sleeps**;** Battles **by **The Spill Canvas**; **Lie to Me **by** 12 Stones (actually… this really kind of fits.)

**Chapter Tweleve**: Furious Angels

_~Mello~ _

"Damn it, no!" I swore and tried to ignore my pounding heart. I could not afford to give into my worry. I fumbled with the buttons on the phone as I sped dangerously around a corner. I needed to drive faster, he didn't have much time.

I didn't have time to call both Jasper and L so I sent a text which was the next best thing. Jasper sent a reply telling me to wait until he got there, though I think he knew I wouldn't.

Stopping abruptly I shoved the phone into my pocket and shut the engine off. I probably should have parked further away since they would have at least known that I lived here. It was too late to do anything about it so I continued on inside the building.

They had to know I was there for Matt, they had been watching him too long not to.

I took the steps two at a time and calmed my breathing by the time I reached our door, though it would have been hard not to hear my boots on the floor. With my body tensed, I grabbed the door knob and twisted it slowly and let it swing inward.

I saw something black moving behind the door as the crack between the door and wall widened. Jutting my leg out I kicked the door as hard as I could and drew my gun. The door connected with the figure with a crack; I hoped something got broken.

Ignoring that person for the moment I stormed inside and fired a round off at the woman rushing me. She dodged it skillfully and kicked the gun from my hand. I was already stepping back into the hallway as she crouched to the floor and swung her foot out.

She missed my chest by inches but her second attempt was spot on and she knocked my legs out from under me. Strong arms caught me as I toppled over and held me in a vice like grip. I swore.

One arm shifted to under my chin, forcing my head back, while the other wrapped around to keep my arms pinned at my sides. This guy was huge and very strong. One wrong move and he would snap my neck like a twig.

My eyes swiveled across the room to the blonde haired assassin, and Matt. He was tied to the computer chair and littered with cuts. A camera was placed facing him, they were in the process of filming his death.

"Mello!" his eyes were filled with fear and I wanted nothing more than to get him out of this situation.

The blonde took the knife in her hand and ran it down his already bloody cheek. She waited until a new, more steady, stream of blood dripped down before she stuck her tongue out to lick it away. Matt cringed back.

"When I'm done with you, I'll get your detective lover." she stated with a giggle. "Mello get out! Please-" Matt was cut short as she backhanded him across the face.

"Even if I could, you know I wouldn't."

He struggled in his bindings again but was held fast. "Hm... now that we have an even better audience, what shall I do next?" the blonde giggled again and twirled the knife between her fingers.

I could only hope that Jasper would get here soon or Matt would die. Though why he wasn't closer to Matt, today especially, bothered me.

My legs were going numb. I hadn't used the IV drip today and the coffee I consumed had nowhere near what I needed in it. I could feel them start to shake the longer I was held in this position and it couldn't have come at a worse time.

Or so I had thought.

When my legs gave out the man was forced to readjust his grip on me and I used that instant to elbow him in the gut and roll away from his grasp. I darted a few feet away and aimed to get my gun.

"Can't you keep him still, Jesus!" the blonde pulled her gun and raised it in my direction- _bang_

She dropped the gun and held her hand with a hiss. "This is the police, put your hands up." I breathed a sigh of relief, L must have sent them.

The remaining assassin made a last ditch effort to kill Matt, pulling a gun from his waistband that the police couldn't see. I tackled him to the floor and the gun skidded away. He easily flipped our positions and his hands latched around my neck.

I dug my nails into his hands but he didn't give way, I could hear shouting but it seemed far away. His grip on my neck was so tight I couldn't breath.

I kicked my legs out but he was still unmovable. There was a crazed glint in his eyes, something the entire organization seemed to have.

Another shot rang out and a bullet went through his skull; blood spattered across my face. He slumped foreword onto me, his weight crushing. "Mello!" I could hear Matt yell my name but couldn't move.

The police quickly pulled the body off me and I let out a few choked breathes. I staggered to my feet and over to Matt who was having the last restraints taken off. The moment he was free he grabbed me and crushed me into a hug.

I returned it with the same death grip. He was safe, in my arms and _safe_.

"Oh thank god you're alright!" he whispered to me.

I didn't know what to say to him, there were too many thoughts running around in my brain, too many things I needed to tell him. So I remained quiet.

"Excuse me, but why the hell were these people after you? They don't look like the run off the mill criminals we usually have here." A mustached cop asked with his gravely voice. What _could_ we tell him?

Well, I was a detective, so it would be safer to say they were after me rather than J. However the evidence wouldn't fit since Matt was the one tied to the chair in front of the camera...

"Marcus leave those two alone, I just got a call from the chief. He say's L has taken over everything pertaining this case." I heard Matt sigh in relief.

"We're going to grab a few things and stay at a friend's house." The cop didn't look pleased but didn't say anything more. "Come on Matt." I detangled myself from his arms and he followed me to the kitchen where I found out what happened to the third assassin.

There was a bullet hole in the middle of his chest.

"Can you go grab us some clothes, and I'll get the rest?" Matt nodded and hesitantly walked out of the other kitchen door.

The other stuff I had mentioned happened to be coffee, cigarettes and chocolate. I grabbed a plastic bag and carelessly shoved everything inside. Though there was far less chocolate then I would have liked.

I felt my legs begin to shake again and balanced my weight on the counter.

"Mello?" Matt had gotten back quicker than I anticipated. "You really can't take care of yourself properly can you?" he brushed a piece of hair away from my eyes with a sigh. It made me shiver but I didn't dare lean into the touch.

"We should go…" I muttered. He pulled back and nodded, though he stayed right by my side almost as if he were waiting for me to fall.

All eyes were on us as we exited our apartment, the police wanting nothing more than to question the hell out of us but not being able to. We got to the end of the hallway before a familiar face stood before us looking absolutely relieved.

"Jasper." I snarled. Where the fuck had he been? He should have been with Matt-

Matt grabbed my free hand and squeezed, he knew I had been about a second away from throwing a fit. My shoulders slumped and I heard Jasper snicker.

I glared at him but remained silent, at least until we got to a more secure place.

"You OK to drive?" Jasper directed the question to Matt who shrugged. I wasn't even about to suggest going on my motorcycle when I could barely stand. "Lets just take my car then; I'll drive you two idiots back once this whole thing blows over."

Neither of us argued with him.

The ride to Jasper's was deathly silent. I had opted for the backseat while Matt took the passenger side next to Jasper. There would be a lot of shit to go through between the three of us; most of it created by me, and me alone.

Though the air between us was tense, I found myself dozing off in the warm car.

"Mello, wake up." something soft tickled my cheek as my eyes fluttered open. Matt was staring at me with a small smile; his fingertips gently rubbing circles on my skin.

"I'm up..." he nodded and backed away to let me get out. My neck and back were stiff and I winced in pain as I moved a bit too quickly. But I wasn't worried; it wasn't something a hot shower couldn't fix.

"Hurry up you two." Jasper called softly as we both straggled behind.

The kitchen light had been left on so the apartment was cast in shadows. "Go take a shower before either of you touch anything, both of you are covered in blood. I'll be making tea and coffee for when you get out." Jasper all but pushed us into the bathroom.

"I can wait." I told Matt while leaning against the wall. I doubted he'd want me in there with him. "I don't mind if you join me." Matt's voice was so soft I had a hard time hearing him. But I had.

"Alright."

The water was hot, but not boiling as he usually had it. I suspected all his cuts were the reason for it, they were deep and would most definitely sting like hell when the water hit them.

I was proven right when he kept flinching as he tried to clean them. I scrubbed myself down before I even attempted to help him. He had open wounds and I didn't need to be adding anything to them; especially when that something wasn't my own blood.

He looked much worse now that the blood was washed away. The cuts were an angry red in contrast to his pale skin. The deeper ones still bled while the others had somewhat closed over. They had only just begun with him if these were the extent of his injuries; the other detective's bodies were far worse off.

He was lucky.

I lathered my hands in soap and gently rubbed it into the cuts. "Shit!" he hissed but didn't pull away. It was one of those things were you just couldn't do it yourself, like a small child having a parent get rid of a splinter.

"Sorry." he didn't seem to hear me and yet leaned in to my touch. I smiled. Matt was such a masochist sometimes.

Both of us started when the water ran cold and we hurriedly finished up and all but jumped away from the cold spray. He handed me a towel and we both quickly dried off and dressed.

"About damn time, I was wondering if you fell asleep." Jasper grunted from the kitchen table. I rolled my eyes and joined him with Matt following me.

"Before I leave the two of you to talk, alone, there are a few things that need piecing together." I sighed and grabbed the chocolate coffee from the table. "It's decaf." I frowned but took a sip anyway.

Matt was more playing with his coffee than drinking it while Jasper had nearly finished his tea.

"First, where the hell have you been the past week or so?" I grimaced. Why did Jasper have to ask me that? He just couldn't leave it alone....

"In a shitty apartment, in a worse area than this, piecing together the mystery that is the Organization. As well as checking hotels for the assassins and monitoring a bar for the same." Matt looked up at the mention of the bar and I nodded.

"You set up the equipment? And what did you use...?" his inner geek was crawling to the surface and I found it oddly endearing to watch the thoughtful expression cross his features.

"Not to be rude, but I could care less what electronics were used. You can discuss that later." I snorted into my coffee at Jaspers rather blunt statement. Matt looked a little put off but didn't argue. We _were _crashing at his place until further notice...

"I have a question actually..." they both looked at me and suddenly I felt as though I had spoken out of turn. Like I was at Wammys and had forgotten to raise my hand in class; it was oddly reminiscent.

"What happened before I got to our apartment?" Matt sucked in a breath and took a swig of coffee.

"I'm sure you heard the gunshot.... I dropped the phone not long after. I shot one of them in the chest, the one you saw in the kitchen. I had waited until they tried to subdue me; I knew I only had one chance at it."

"I had thought you'd said there were three." Jasper commented.

"Then I was easily subdued by the remaining guy, Mello I'm sure you know how strong he is." I nodded. "You got there before they could do much damage." he motioned to his face. My eyes lit up.

"Speaking of that, Jasper you got a first aid kit somewhere?" Matt made a move to protest but a look from both Jasper and I made him sit still. Some of those cuts were deep and needed to be properly cleaned and bandaged, not just washed with soap.

Jasper came back a minute later with a white box. My hands gripped the coffee mug tightly in attempt to keep them from shaking. It didn't seem to be working.

It seemed my body was beginning to protest more loudly to the treatment I had been giving it, just like it did all those years ago when L found me. But this was as far as it would go this time.

Jasper held out the box and I shook my head. "My hands are shaking too badly..." I trailed off and avoided their eyes. "And this is why I gave you decaf."

Matt sat there silently and let Jasper bandage his cuts, but all the while he was staring at me. I never once met his gaze.

"Alright, all done." Jasper left the box on the table before placing his empty tea cup into the sink.

"Jasper, why weren't you with Matt?" I asked. Jasper sighed heavily.

"I had gone out to get my gun. I'd left it here accidently; I didn't realize that until today. Didn't need it before. A rather stupid mistake…" so he had been staying with Matt rather than just monitoring like I'd asked.

Naturally I had hoped he would be with Matt today, but it all turned out alright.

"Maybe it was better you weren't there. They probably would have just killed you." I muttered. Jasper's eyes widened. I knew he had been expecting a fight, or some form of offensive commentary from me; but I was just too drained to deal with it now.

"Alright, I'm heading to my room now. I just wanted to make sure that you didn't kill each other in the shower and hear where the third assassin went." Jasper took the hint and bid us goodnight while mumbling something about headphones and crazy people.

Deciding I was finished I emptied the remaining coffee into the sink and left the cup; I entered the living room just as Matt got up.

I sat down on the couch, where we were supposed to be sleeping, though I had a feeling that if things went badly I'd be sleeping in that uncomfortable plush chair across from me. After a moment Matt came and joined me, but sat on the other side.

He was the one who finally broke the silence. "You broke your promise to me." I couldn't see his face as he rubbed tiredly at his eyes, and his voice let out no hint of emotion. It...hurt.

"I know. But I don't regret it." I forced myself to meet his stare.

"Why?" he asked. His question was loaded. Why did I _do_ it? Why _didn't _I regret? Why didn't I _tell_ him? I think he knew the answers to these, but needed to hear me say them out loud.

"Because I needed you to live. Because while L holed himself away and the only way for me to get the information I needed to save you was to... break my promise. Because you would have acted recklessly if you knew, because your concentration would have been shot... "

"You are an idiot." he stated softly.

"So you're going to sit there and tell me that you wouldn't have been distracted?"

"I didn't say that. I probably would have been doing the same crazy things I have been for the past week, minus worrying about you. But at least if I'd known I could have kept you from…" Matt's eyes were downcast as he trailed off and my heart sunk.

I knew there would be no going back once I'd done that, but Matt was alive so I wouldn't regret it. Ever.

"So you're saying I should have just let you die instead?" I asked incredulously, because no matter how he worded it, that's how it sounded.

"That's not what I said-" he was looking at me again.

"It damn well is! I don't regret saving you. No matter the cost I... don't regret it." Matt's eyes were so expressive without his goggles, and I found that I never really missed the colored plastic. They were sad and weary.

He sighed heavily but reached out and pulled me to his chest so that I was half lying on him and half on the couch.

"You're so thin Mello, you haven't been eating have you?" I looked away in shame and tried to get up but he wouldn't let me. "You have to start eating again, I won't lose you to this." I looked up and saw nothing but truth in his eyes. He wasn't going to push me away...

"I've been using an IV drip... I had no choice since I got so weak." I mumbled into his chest.

"Then why are you so tired today?" his fingers threaded themselves into my hair and he maneuvered us into a lying down position.

"There wasn't enough time for it today..." I trailed off and he sighed again. There was no need for me to explain why I hadn't had time.

"I love you Mihael." he whispered into my ear.

"I love you too." and I meant it. I may hardly say it to him...but I meant it with everything I was.

"It's enough." he pressed a kiss to my forehead and tightened his grip on me. "It will always be enough." I didn't deserve him. Not in the least. But I was lucky.

He loved me.

-**End **_**Furious Angels**_-

**AN**: Aww I actually left it off on a fluffy-ish note. What is _wrong_ with me? This chapter actually should have been done a LONG time ago, but I was busy with 'Silent Dance' and this got stuck on the backburner, the only thing that still isn't done is the Epilogue, because it is NOT cooperating for me. So I'm not sure when that might be out...

**Special thanks to reviewers**: cutmeawayMYPENMYHAND, Aiyori-chan, Rin, Maykitty


	14. Epilogue: Daybreak

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note! T^T

**AN**: And here we have the epilogue! I fail epically at it though...... (this chapter did NOT want to write, I've been working on this since chapter 4. CHAPTER _4_! I mean come on! I never have issues with my epilogues... damn Mello....)

**Suggested Listening**: Sound Memory **by** September (ok, ha, I wrote this entire chapter listening to this on repeat....)**; **Get Stoned **by **Hinder (because I can SO see this song for them. ahaha)

**Epilogue**_: Daybreak_

It had taken the police nearly a week and a half before they finally cleared out of the apartment, even with L telling them that everything had been taken care of. The police just hadn't wanted to yield until they absolutely had to.

The second they had been given the ok, Jasper had dropped them off and told them they were never allowed to stay at his place again.

Ever.

That had been three days ago.

_- _

The apartment door was closed gently and the smell of smoke wafted into the room.

Mello glanced up from his laptop but kept his head down. Ten days since Matt's life had almost been extinguished. Ten days... and nothing between them had been solved since that first night.

Mello wondered if Matt was waiting for him to start first, because the gamer seemed fine with waiting until _something_ happened. Slowly biting off the corner of a chocolate bar, Mello sighed.

"Did you get more coffee while you were out?" Mello cringed at the words that flowed from his lips. The first thing that's been said in _days _was about coffee, of all things.

Matt poked his head in from the kitchen, stared at him for a good minute, and laughed. "Not quite what I was expecting, but I'll give you points for trying. Yeah, I got more coffee."

Mello's head jerked up and a smile crept across his face.

"Do you want some?" Matt called from inside the kitchen, and just like that conversation was restored. Mello supposed he could have come up with something better, well undoubtedly so, but something mundane like that suited them just the same.

"Sure." Mello got up, and after a quick stretch, joined Matt. "Hm... how about the breakfast blend?" Matt looked up from putting away the groceries and smiled.

"It's almost dinner and you want breakfast blend? Alright." Matt took the unopened bag from Mello's hands and started a pot. "You've been closing up again." Matt said quietly.

"What do you mean?" Mello asked. He honestly didn't know what Matt had meant. After that night on Jasper's couch, they had both backed off, it wasn't _just _him. Was it…?

"You're shying away from touch again." Matt lit a cigarette and watched as Mello frowned; though he couldn't tell if it was from the smoking or the statement.

"I'm not avoiding it."

Matt rolled his eyes and raised his hand to Mello's face, intending to trail his fingers across the smooth flesh, when Mello flinched and moved away.

"That's not avoidance? It just like before, only I know there is a different reason behind it this time." Matt took a long drag and kept his gaze on the blonde before him. There was something different about him at those words, like all the fight had suddenly been taken away from him.

Matt couldn't decide if that was a good thing yet or not.

Matt had been right. Matt was always right. He had been avoiding him but it wasn't that simple, not when he was so unsure...he didn't even know _why_.

"How can you even think of touching me... after all that I've done...?" Mello's eyes were closed and his head was turned away from Matt.

Matt's eyes softened.

"So that's what it was about." Matt's breath was hot against his neck and yet Mello couldn't help but shiver. "For someone of your intelligence Mello, you can be so incredibly stupid at times."

The blonde opened his eyes and was stilled by the intensity in Matt's eyes.

"Mello I don't care what you had to do. You're _mine_ and no one else's." Matt growled.

Mello shivered under Matt's fierce gaze. He sucked in a breath at the hand that trailed slowly, yet harshly, down his side. Matt captured his lips with a growl. "Mine." his lips traveled downward to the blonde's neck, leaving little marks all the way.

"Bedroom, now." Mello allowed himself to be led through the kitchen and living room, clothing being discarded along the way, and into the bedroom.

Matt gently lowered Mello to the bed and leaned in close only to stop and stare at him.

"Why does everything have to be so difficult with you? Can't you just accept that I love you, and that I want you no matter what you had to do?" not waiting for a reply Matt continued to assault Mello with kisses and bites.

Mello squirmed slightly under him, his face flushed, as Matt began to trail lower.

"Matt!" Mello moaned as Matt sucked gently on a nipple.

At this point Mello didn't care what Matt did to him just as long as it was _something _more. While what they were doing wasn't new to Mello, even for their relationship, every touch and every kiss gave him greater pleasure then the last.

Mello looked down sharply as Matt moved down past his stomach and his lips gently kissed along his inner thigh. Not expecting the bite Mello gasped and threw his head back.

Matt gazed up at his blonde and watched as blue eyes closed and a shudder ran through him. Matt smirked and continued to nip along the blonde's inner thigh, purposely ignoring the main problem.

"Matt!" the blonde whined. "Yes Mello?" the redhead whispered, his breath now ghosting across Mello's heated flesh. "Stop t-teasing - oh!"

Matt felt fingers wind themselves into his hair as he gently licked and sucked at his lover's erect penis.

Mello knew that Matt wouldn't stay focused on this for long, so he enjoyed the attention he was receiving. When three fingers tapped gently on his lips he immediately sucked them into his mouth.

He could feel Matt smirk around him and shivered. He was all too familiar with the next part, however doubted that Matt would be able to cause him any pain. Not after everything....

Matt pulled his mouth away the second he felt Mello tense. He knew exactly where Mello's thought process was leading him.

"Stop thinking." he kissed the side of Mello's mouth and watched as blue eyes shown surprise. "Well, you _can_ think about what I'm going to do to you." he smirked and his hand dipped between their bodies.

Mello squirmed slightly as the fingers pressed into him, stretching him, he was so used to it hurting that it felt odd.

Matt seemed to read his reaction and kissed his cheek gently. "You wont be hurt any more, I promise." and Mello believed him. His breath hitched as Matt's fingers were removed and his entrance prodded with something far larger.

Hips jerked foreword, slowly, and Mello automatically tensed at the intrusion but relaxed at the fingers that rubbed at his hip. A trick that Matt, and only Matt, knew relaxed him.

Matt eased himself inside completely and stopped much to Mello's disappointment; to Mello it was the most torturous thing Matt could have done..

"Move!" he whined. Matt laughed but did nothing more than kiss down the scarred side of his face. "Love you." Mello's breath hitched as Matt began to move inside him, sweat beading across his forehead.

"Oh god." Mello moaned as Matt buried his face in the crook of his neck; Mello's arms wrapped around Matt to bring him closer. Mello loved this, loved the feelings that were brought to the surface, loved everything about it, loved that it was Matt with him and no one else.

"M-matt I'm..."only Matt could make him feel like this. Make the pressure build inside him until it was almost painful. He loved it. Loved Matt.

And Matt... Matt loved him.

Words were lost to him now, all Mello could do now was feel. Every gentle touch Matt trailed across his skin, every soft kiss across his lips, every thrust against his prostate....

Matt began to stroke his previously neglected member and Mello lost it. He came hard against their chests and stomachs and rode out his orgasm as Matt followed only a minute later.

"Believe me now?" Matt whispered into his ear. Mello looked at Matt and shook his head.

"I think I could use some more convincing..." his fingers ran along the redheads back and Matt laughed.

"That can be arranged." Matt mumbled around a kiss.

**-End _Daybreak_-**

**AN**: Yeah It's done! It's over...... for now.... yeah I did it again...... there **is** going to be a **sequel.** *sigh* I've had the idea for it in my brain since the prologue of this. OMG it's going to kill me. Though it will be dark, I will tell you one thing, the main focus will be on Matt, but I won't tell you why. Hehhee. And if any of you have read the torture scene from Silent Dance you know that is where my mind is at the moment. So expect carnage once I get the plot up.

The theme is changing a bit, yay. It will be darker in a _different_ way. Oh changes.... we all love them don't we?

Anyway, I know this one was shorter than the original, but it was mainly as a bridge for the next one, which I know exactly how I want to play out as the epilogue was the first thing written for it. Though I am now up to chapter 4, but don't expect everything to be out soon, its written but I have yet to even spell check them.

There have been clues hidden in this fic as to what the sequel will be about.

If anyone can guess, even a generalized one, about what the sequel will be about, I will think of something as a reward, as i'm sure you are all sick of getting questions? haha. Unless you want questions? Eh...

**As of right now, the prologue is out. **Yes you heard me. So what are you all waiting for, go check it out! ^_^

**Special thanks to all my reviewers**!


	15. Prequel preview

**AN**: yeah.. I know this is complete, but hear me out.

Alright, you all know what happened AFTER Matt left the orphanage… but what about when he first got there. Well I'm writing a oneshot to go along with We Sleep Forever and it's** two** sequels. (Not an Angel and Je Ne Regret Rien, both of which have been posted and NAA completed.)

Im posting this on both, well because NAA is the newer one, but really its for the WSF universe so… yeah. Don't question me XD

**Special preview**:

"You remember what we discussed, correct?" the old man, known as Mr. Whammy asked. He was kind, but Mail couldn't really trust him. Adults in general couldn't be trusted. No matter how kind they seemed…

"That my new name is Matt." He said while fidgeting slightly under the constant gaze. He didn't liked to be looked at. The only time his father had ever looked at him was when he hurt him.

That was why he was sitting in the nice car all dirty and covered in blood with cuts and bruises. Was he bad for not crying over his father? For… being almost happy he was dead?

"That's right. Are you ready Matt, we are here."

Green eyes looked up hesitantly and glanced out the window. He sat up straighter and his eyes were wide. The place was… it was huge! It had an enormous front yard, where children were currently playing. This was where he would be staying? He looked over at Mr. Whammy, who did nothing more than smile at him, before turning back to the orphanage.

**AN**: alright, as of right now its still in the works so keep a look out for it. It shouldn't take me too long to get it done, but I am concentrating more on JNRR at the moment. Im in a torturing mood so yeah…..


	16. Special

**Disclaimer:** Don't own DN.

**AN:** So....... I don't know if anyone has looked at NAA's summary (or WSF or JNRR's) recently... but I went through and edited them, fixed some plot issues (though most of it is subtle) grammar/etc. As well as added some new things. (again most of it is subtle)

All in preparation for the release of The Silent Place. And it gives me an excuse to give you guys some new content (mainly things somewhere in between the end of one fic and the start of another.)

So this and WSF are edited and I'm working on JNRR now. So enjoy this. :)

_**-Special-**_

_(takes place about a week to a week ½ BEFORE je ne regrette rien)_

Matt stared up at the blonde, expression unreadable. And that was a feat those days seeing as Matt still hadn't replaced his goggles.

"So... we're leaving?" he questioned.

Mello sighed. "Yes. We'll be going to Wammys to help L." he said as he sat down on Matt's lap. Stripe covered arms wound their way around his waist and pulled him closer, though just shy of touching.

"When was this decided?" the redhead questioned.

"Today. When L called." Mello told him as he began to kiss at his neck. Mello ran his fingers up his shirt and scratched lightly at his chest.

Matt knew exactly what the blonde was attempting to do, but he didn't mind it. He didn't really have a problem with leaving the apartment and moving back to England, especially as the apartment didn't really feel all that safe anymore since the incident.

He just thought it was amusing that Mello felt he needed to distract him with sex. Hell, Matt wasn't going to complain. He grabbed a fistful of hair and dragged the blonde's mouth from his neck and kissed him fiercely.

Mello moaned, not having expected Matt to react so quickly. He had thought Matt would have had more of a problem with leaving. He broke away, though it had been difficult with the hand in his hair. "You're not going to argue?"

"Not really. Besides, who could argue with a sexy leather clad blonde sitting on their lap?" Mello snorted at him but gasped as Matt wedged his hand into the leather trousers.

"Fuck Matt, it's too tight down there for that." he groaned as Matt rubbed at his erection, though it was almost painful. Matt kissed him again, teeth worrying his bottom lip, as he undid the laces on his leather.

He sighed in relief as Matt finished and his penis _and _Matt's hand were no longer trapped in the tight leather together. Mello glanced at the clock across the room and groaned. They, as he hadn't exactly told Matt this yet, would soon be late with meeting a client for a new case.

One that he had just taken on only a few hours ago..

"I have to be somewhere in half an hour-" he hissed as Matt yanked his leather down to his thighs and though he made to get up to fully remove them he was held in place by the hands at his hips.

"So I assume you want to get this done quick? So much for romance." Matt laughed and spit in his palm and coated his erection with it. Mello quickly understood, as he wrapped his arms around Matt's neck, and slowly eased himself onto Matt's penis.

"Ahh.." he bit his lip as he adjusted to the feeling of being filled. He didn't allow himself much time, as Matt's hands on him were just too much, and began to move.

Matt loved the way Mello closed his eyes and moaned as he rode him, pressing Matt further into the couch cushions with the constant rise and fall of his body. He pressed his fingers harder into those slim hips and forced Mello into a harsher pace.

It was quick and dirty, and Matt loved every second of it.

He wrapped one hand around Mello's own erection and stroked it with quick movements. "Matt.." Mello breathed against his lips. He cried out and spurted against Matt's hand and rode out his ecstasy as Matt continued to push into him until his own orgasm peaked.

"Damn, I'm all sticky now." Mello gasped with a frown, still being kissed senseless.

"It's your own fault you couldn't wait until later." Matt told him with a slight jerk of his hips. He glared at Matt but it didn't stick as he watched the smirk grow on the redhead's lips. Damn he loved him.

"Let's go to work."

"What you mean 'let's' that implies that I'm going with you." Matt asked with narrowed eyes.

"That's because you are." he told Matt with a growing smirk of his own as he detangled himself from him.

Matt just sighed.

**-End _Special_-**

**AN:** So yeah..... I gave you Pr0n. :) (using Pr0n is now a joke between me and my beta....... don't ask....)

Now you guys can't complain that there isn't enough yaoi in this series. :)


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